Shaded Illusions
by Alexa Donaghy
Summary: Severus' wife and daughters come to Hogwarts while the war with Voldemort rages outside. The Snape family has a secret that can help, but are they willing? R&R please! ^__^
1. Opportunities

**A/N:  **This fic is partially based on a dream my best friend, Caytin, had.   It has a few of the same elements.  Basically I took it and ran with it, LOL.  I can't think of a title for it that I like!!  I'm planning on this having a plot and all, but you never know.  Those evil plot penguins are quite deranged.  Two of the main characters are OC's, but don't worry… this is not a Mary Sue.  Oh and there will be a little slash, but it's not the main focus.  Rated for language, future violence and minor sexual stuff.  Most likely will change later.

**Pairings:  **George/OFC, Charlie/OFC, OFC/Severus (cuz Sevviebaby is always the bitch), and Ron/Draco.  There are a few other minor pairings, but they're too minor to mention.

**Disclaimer:**  Unfortunately all I own is Lilith and Rory Snape.  Vicious is originally Caytin Lowe's (although I changed the character a lot from what she originally was.)  At any rate all three of the Snape women are just that… women.  I don't get to own any of the men!!  I'm gonna go cry now…

Chapter 1:  Opportunities 

            It was a hot summer day near the end of August when Vicious Snape received a letter from Albus Dumbledore, the Headmaster of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.  He was asking, no… _begging_… her to come to Hogwarts to be the new Defense Against the Dark Arts professor.  Her daughters, Lilith and Rory, would even be able to transfer there from Durmstrang for their seventh year of school.

            "Hmmm…" she mused to herself.  "This will royally piss Severus off.  All the more reason to do it!"

            Her husband had been coveting the DADA job for years!  Of course, Dumbledore would never give it to him because no one would be able to fill the Potions position as well as he could.

            "Girls, get dressed.  We're going to Diagon Alley to pick up a few things.  I got asked to fill the DADA position at Hogwarts!" Vicious announced.

            "Awesome!  Daddy is going to be so mad!" Lilith and Rory replied.

            "I know," Vicious said with an evil grin.  "Professor Dumbledore has also invited the two of you to finish your education there.  Now, before you protest, I think this would be a good idea, and I'm sure your father would agree if I were planning on telling him before the start of the term.  I know you love Durmstrang, but with the upcoming war, I would really feel more comfortable if the two of you were at Hogwarts with your father and I."

            Lilith and Rory exchanged looks.  They were twins… fraternal, not identical… but still shared a close bond and a telepathic connection.

            "Okay Mum, we'll go," Rory said, speaking for both herself and her sister. 

            "Personally I'll be a bit glad to leave Durmstrang.  Our last term was horrible.  I don't think I could stand having to walk the halls every day again this year, seeing Dusty's horrible taunting face…" Lilith said sadly.

            Dusty Flame had been what Lilith thought she was looking for.  He was smart, funny, philosophical, and most importantly, a redhead.  (She is very picky.)  She took the initiative for the first time in her life, for when it came to the opposite sex, Lilith was quite shy.  She asked Dusty out, and he said yes, giving her newfound confidence.

            Her happiness was short-lived, however, for he soon abandoned her.  He didn't tell her to her face that it was over.  Oh no, he merely avoided her for two weeks.  He stood her up several times, leaving her waiting for him for hours on end at various places on the school grounds.  He then began telling people that they were no longer together, and it eventually made its way around to Lilith's ears.  This, coupled with the fact that all of these events began happening when she refused to sleep with him, broke her heart even though she hadn't been in love with him.  And her heart broke anew every time she had to look at him.

            Rory looked at Lilith sympathetically.

            "Yeah it would be best not to go back there… I might be sent to Azkaban for the murder of a certain Dusty Flame," Rory said, trying to cheer her sister up.

            Lilith managed a weak smile for Rory's efforts.

            "So, Mum… you aren't going to tell Daddy until the start-of-term feast?" Lilith asked.  

            "Of course not.  You think I want to miss out on the hissy fit he's going to throw in front of the entire school?" replied Vicious.

            "Yeah… point taken," both girls knowingly said.

            With that, the women got up to get ready for Diagon Alley.

WARNING… EXTREMELY LONG DUE TO EXTREME NEED OF VENTING BECAUSE MEN SUCK STINKY CHEESE!!!  DO NOT FEEL YOU ABSOLUTELY MUST READ.  ^__^

**A/N:**  The Dusty part kind of snuck up on me.  He's based on a real person.  My ex, in fact.  I refused to sleep with him on our second date, and didn't see him again.  He stopped calling, and when I would try to call him his parents would say he was out walking the dog… sometimes that dog got walked all day long!  He stood me up several times so that I was waiting at my house for him for 5 hours or more until my best friend would come rescue me.  And like Lilith, I didn't love this idiot.  It was just a major burn.  I've been dumped before for refusing to sleep with a guy, but I had NEVER been dissed that bad before.  (Although a couple of months ago I got dissed really badly AGAIN!  What is WITH my luck with guys?!?!?  I used to have a decent love life!)  Well anyway tonight I went to eat Chinese food with my 3 best friends, Caytin, Bill, and Matt, and then we went to see Shanghai Knights and then we went to the bowling alley.  And lo and behold, Dusty was there!  This was quite surprising since he's supposed to be attending college right now in Louisiana, SIX HOURS AWAY, and the town he lived in last summer has a much bigger and better bowling alley!  He didn't even acknowledge me.  He saw me several times.  I think he probably recognized me cuz he kept staring.  I had a hard time keeping Caytin from trying to hit him over the head with her pool cue… and strangle him with her coat… although I did tell her that if he came into the pool room he could jump a couple of balls at him… one to hit him between the eyes, and one to hit him where it hurts!  And then we got an orange puppy out of the claw machine and named him Dusty and Fred Weasley the Teddy Bear, Sevvie the Seahorse, and Michaeizl the Puppy are going to beat him to death.  ^__^  Oh my fat livin' Buddha… this is the longest A/N ever.. sorry.. just needed to vent I guess.  (Which is why I gave poor Lilith the Dusty problem…)


	2. Diagon Alley

**A/N:  **This chappy isn't very good.  L  I'm not feeling well and my writing is reflected by it.  But I'm updating anyway!  Beyond the first few paragraphs it's all just improvisation LOL.  (Oh well I'm an actress so it's not that bad, hopefully)

**Disclaimer:**  I OWN IT ALL!!  MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!   Nooooo Sevvie!!!  Don't make me drink the Veritaserum!!!  *Sevvie forces the Veritaserum down my throat and asks:*  "Do you own the Harry Potter series and other such things involved with it?"  ME:  No, damn you.  L

Chapter 2:  Diagon Alley 

            So the three Snape women got dressed and packed their trunks, as September 1st was very near and they would be leaving for Hogwarts from Platform 9 3/4 . Vicious had decided that it would be a good idea to stay at the Leaky Cauldron for the next two nights.

            When everyone had everything packed and ready to go, they apparated to Diagon Alley.  (Lilith and Rory are very advanced.)  Vicious only needed to pick up a couple of necessary things, but Lilith and Rory needed their black Hogwarts robes and textbooks.  Of course, being Severus Snape's daughters, they had plenty as far as Potions went.  And of course, they had used wands (ebony for Lilith and willow for Rory, each with a core of pixie dust) their first few years at Durmstrang.  They had, however, mastered wandless magic early on.

            They each had their own broomsticks, both Phoebus 3894's.  Lilith and Rory had been Keepers for their respective houses at Durmstrang.

            They stopped by the Leaky Cauldron first to check in and drop off their luggage.  From there they went to Madam Malkin's to get measured for their robes.

            "Why hello there Mrs. Snape!  What brings you and your two lovely daughters to my shop?" Madam Malkin asked upon their arrival.

            "Lilith and Rory need to be fitted.  They'll be attending Hogwarts for their seventh year instead of Durmstrang," Vicious replied.

            "Well, let's see here," Madam Malkin said as she conjured up a measuring tape and measured each girl in turn.  "That'll do it!  We just happen to have what you two need in stock.  I'll go fetch it for you and we'll ring you up."

            As Madam Malkin walked to the back to retrieve their robes, Rory turned to Lilith.  

            "So, what house do you imagine you will be sorted into?" she asked.

            "Well… Daddy will be heavily disappointed if both his little girls don't get sorted into Slytherin.  However, we were in different houses at Durmstrang.  I suppose that just as long as one of us doesn't get sorted into Gryffindor we might both survive…" Lilith replied.

            "Oh come now, girls.  Your father wouldn't be upset if one of you ended up in Gryffindor!" Vicious said, knowing she didn't speak the truth.

            "Yeah right, Mum!  Daddy will be angry if we're not both in Slytherin, but he will be absolutely livid if one of us is in Gryffindor!" both girls stated practically at the same time. 

            Vicious merely chuckled and said, "You two know your father all too well."

            "Here are your robes, and that will be seven galleons each, bringing your total to fourteen galleons," Madam Malkin said cheerfully, coming out of the back of the shop, robes in hand.

            Vicious paid for the robes, and the Snape women were on their way to Flourish and Botts to buy textbooks.

            "Hello Orion," Vicious said to one of the owners of the store as she walked in with her daughters.  "Lilith and Rory need the set of textbooks for seventh years at Hogwarts."

            "I have a couple of sets right here behind the counter.  Anything else for you today?" Orion Botts said, putting two piles of books on the counter.

            "No thank you.  I'll just take this and drop our bags off at the Leaky Cauldron," Vicious said as she paid for the books, and walked out.

            After they dropped their shopping bags off in their rooms at the inn, they went to Florean Fortescue's Ice Cream Parlor.  They sat down and Lilith ordered a frozen white chocolate mousse topped with chocolate chip cookie dough bits.  Rory, on the other hand, ordered a peanut butter and hot fudge sundae, while Vicious ordered a simple strawberry non-fat frozen yogurt.

            Lilith looked around the parlor and her eyes landed on a table almost filled with redheads.  There were two stockily built boys that looked to be around seventeen, and completely identical.  There was also a tall, lanky boy of around fifteen, a pretty girl who looked around fourteen, and an older woman who had to be the mother.  They also had with them a girl with wild, bushy brown hair, and a boy with jet-black hair, glasses… and a scar in the shape of a lightning bolt!  It was Harry Potter!  Of course, she and Rory had grown up hearing his name, and whenever their father came home he was always complaining about what an annoying little twit he was.

            Vicious had noticed the group too and, obviously knowing the mother of the redheads, called out, "Molly, dear, how are you?"

            The woman that Vicious had addressed as Molly looked up and smiled.  "Vici!  How nice to see you!  Won't you and the girls come join us?  Why I haven't seen those two since they came over to the Burrow every day to play with the twins at two years old!"

"Of course we will," Vicious replied as she and her daughters walked over to the redheaded table.  "Lilith, Rory, this is Molly Weasley, and her sons Fred and George, and Ron, and her daughter Ginny.  I've never personally met young Harry here, but we've certainly heard enough about him from your father.  And I have not had the pleasure of meeting the young lady sitting beside Ron."

"Yes, yes, that would be Hermione Granger.  She attends Hogwarts with Harry and my children.  Kids, I'm sure you don't remember these lovely women, but Lilith and Rory used to come over and play as toddlers.  They were most close to Fred and George though, as they're the same age.  But to refresh your memory, this is Vicious, Lilith, and Rory Snape.  So girls, what brings you here?" Molly said in her joyful, but tired way.

George was astounded.  How could anything related to Professor Snape be so… gorgeous… as these three women were?  He looked over to Fred who looked just as confused and decided to try to make some sense of the whole ordeal by listening to the conversation.

"Well, Albus asked me to come to Hogwarts to fill the position of the DADA professor.  Severus, of course, will be infuriated.  Merlin knows my husband wants that job so much he can't stand it.  Which was probably the driving force for my acceptance… Anyway, he's also invited the girls to attend Hogwarts for their seventh year, and I thought this would be a good idea.  I don't want my daughters at Durmstrang while their father and I are at Hogwarts."

George was now even more confused.  These incredibly hot women weren't just related to Snape… they were his wife and daughters!  It was just as well, not like he had any chance with either of them anyway.  Fred was the "hot" one out of them.  He always got the girl.  George looked over at Fred, who was already moving in on the one that his mother had introduced as Lilith.  Lilith, surprisingly, didn't look too happy to be receiving his attentions.

"So George and I are meeting up with our friend Lee Jordan after we finish our ice cream.  How would you and Rory like to join us?" Fred asked.

While Lilith was hesitating Vicious answered for her.  "Of course they would love to go.  Wouldn't you, girls?"

"Sure, Mum," replied Lilith and Rory.

Soon after, everyone finished their treats, and Fred and George escorted Lilith and Rory out of the parlor and into the nearby joke shop, Sly Beaner's Magic Chicken.

**A/N: ** Yay!!  I got somewhere with it!!!  I'm also very proud of myself, because as of yet, I have not used any bad language in the story.  ^__^  Maybe I'm turning into a good person… oh no… what is this world coming to?!?!?!? Okie dokie now to thank the lovely reviewers.

_Dark Queen of Roses:_  Hell yeah!  Boys… hmmmph… Yay to my first reviewer!  You get a cookie!  And I'll take the flamethrower, please.  ^__^  Oh and I've actually got a date this Friday.  First time in my entire life that I have had a date on Lack of Weasley Men Day (V-Day to normal people.)  I always get dumped right before.  It's with one of my best friends, known him since 4th grade.  Might be weird, but worth a shot.  ^__^  I talk too much…

_Elfmoon87:_  Hehe, poor Snapey… he's so cute when he's angry!  Thanks for the review!


	3. The Order of Phoenix

**A/N:  **This chapter took a _completely_ different route that I had originally planned.  It was supposed to be mostly humor, with the plotline sneaking its way into a line or two.  However, the Evil Plot Penguins stole the chapter away from me, made it really long, and mixed in a lot of plotty stuff with the humor.  There's also a BUNCH of dialogue.  But guess what… I'm really happy with the results!  I hope y'all are too.  ^__^

**Disclaimer:  **All characters that you recognize belong to my heroine, J.K. Rowling.  Damn it all.  However, I own Lilith and Rory and half of Vicious.  (Caytin owns the other half.)  I also own their secret…MUHAHAHAHAHA!!!  Evil Plot Penguins…

Chapter 3:  The Order of Phoenix 

            Once inside the shop the Weasley twins led the Snape twins over to a slightly short boy with a thick head of dreadlocks.  

            "Oy, Lee!" yelled Fred and George, acknowledging the boy.

            "Gred and Forge!  To quote a certain Muggle saying… 'Wazzuuup?'" Lee answered.

            The Weasleys laughed and Fred said, "I'd like you to meet our tow very lovely new friends, Lilith and Rory Snape.  Lilith, Rory, this is Lee Jordan."

            "Snape?!? You two are related to Professor Snape?!?!"  Lee asked, shocked.  

            "Yes, he's our father," Rory shot back, apparently offended.

            Lilith, the peacemaker of the two reached out a hand to calm her sister and said, in her quiet way, "Yes, we know that Daddy an be absolutely horrifying.  We have felt his wrath many a time when we were young, as we were royal terrors.  In fact, we still are such…"

            "You two?  You were naughty little children?" Fred asked in an amused tone.  "What sort of things did you do?"

            "Well there was this one time that a … so-called 'friend of Daddy's came over… Lucious Malfoy," Rory began.

            "Yes, yes, we were five.  And the Malfoy's son, Draco, was such an annoying little prat, that we saw fit to turn him into a pretty itty bitty pink fluffy bunny," Lilith finished.

            "Daddy, however, didn't think our reasons were as justified as we thought…" Rory amused.

            "Draco was a very pretty bunny though," Lilith added, amid laughs.

            Fred and George doubled over with laughter at the thought of a three-year-old Draco Malfoy in a pink fluffy bunny's body.  Lee was amused as well, but was still suspicious of the girls.  Their father was the most loathed professor in school, _and_ he was the head of Slytherin house!  Everyone knew that house was full of nothing but malicious, conniving, rotten to the core bad apples.

            "Yeah, sure, that's funny.  I'm quite positive I would be laughing right now, if I weren't so sure of your _real_ intentions in that incident," Lee answered in a sour tone.

            "Real intentions?  We were five years old!" Rory said, her voice raising several octaves with her anger.

            Fred pulled Lee aside, where the girls  couldn't hear and said, "Can you cut the crap?  Professor Snape's daughters or not, they're still so hot it hurts, and I plan to replace Angelina with one or the other within the next week.  I am the embodiment of lust!"

            "Oh dear Merlin… Harry has introduced you to anime, hasn't he?" Lee asked, horrified.

            "What the hell is anime?" Fred asked, confused.

            "Never mind.  Go ahead, fulfill your lust, you horny… BAS-TAAARD!  I'll shut up," Lee replied with a smile.

            Fred and Lee walked back over to their previous position, where George and Lilith were trying to calm Rory down.

            "Um, Lilith, Rory, I'd like to say I'm sorry for what I said earlier.  I acted impulsively.  I should probably get to know you before I make such judgments.  So, where do you two go to school?" Lee said, voicing his… somewhat… genuine apology.

            Rory backed down a little, and Lilith answered, "We were going to Durmstrang, but we're transferring to Hogwarts for our seventh year."

            "So, are you two fraternal twins?" Lee asked, noting their obvious physical differences.  While Rory had the golden hair of her mother and obsidian eyes of her father, Lilith had her mother's piercing sapphire blue eyes, and her father's raven hair.

            "Yes, I'm younger by three and one-fourth minutes," Rory replied, willing to accept the offered truce.

            In an attempt to show off, Fred spoke up, "Girls, I want to show you something.  See these Canary Creams?  George and I invented them.  After we get out of school we're going to open our own joke shop.  But for now, our products are being sold here."

            "We're going to call the shop Weasley Wizard Wheezes," George quietly put in.

            "Oh that's nice…" Rory said, though neither she nor Lilith was very impressed.  They have been inventing various wild stuff for ages.

            "Let's move on to another shop," Lilith suggested.

            With that, the group left the Magical Chicken and proceeded  to walk the streets of Diagon Alley.

            "So, do either of you play Quidditch?" Fred asked the girls.

            "Oh yes!  We're both Keepers.  We were each on our respective house teams at Durmstrang.  We really get quite competitive with each other during the games…" Lilith said excitedly.

            "Yes…" Rory said quietly, as something was distracting her.

            It was nearing only three o'clock, yet shops were beginning to close their doors.  Mothers were hurrying their children off the streets, herding them home.  No strangers would say hello in greeting, as if they were… frightened of something.

            _\\ But what could they be so frightened of? \\ _ Rory thought to herself.  _\\ Sure, there's Voldemort, but things haven't really gotten to the point where people were afraid to be out in the middle of the afternoon, have they? \\_

            Apparently, Lilith had become aware of the abnormality as well, because she suddenly asked, "Why is everyone so paranoid?"

            "Where have you been the past few months?" Lee asked.  "Don't you know that You Know Who has come back to power?"

            "Yes, we know Voldemort is back," Rory said as the boys flinched.  "Sorry, but I'm not afraid of his name and I'll say it again.  **Voldemort**.  But the war is in its early stages.  Surely the world is not panicking yet!"

            "You two must not get out much," Fred replied sadly.  "Since he rose again at the end of the term, there have been **sixteen** attacks on Muggle-borns, **seven** attacks on pure-bloods, and **twenty-two** attacks on Muggles!  Not only is You Know Who trying to take over our world, but the Muggles' world as well.  London will fall to ruins soon, and the rest of Britain will follow it.  The Muggles are becoming aware of us.  This is all why Dumbledore created the…" Fred lowered his voice to naught but a whisper here… "The Order of Phoenix."

            "What is this… Order of Phoenix?" Rory whispered back.

            "I can't exactly tell you out in the open like this.  But I expect you'll know soon enough," Fred replied.

            "What do you mean by that?" Lilith cut in.

            "Well, I imagine that's why Dumbledore wants you and your mother at Hogwarts.  Everyone knows the Snapes are a long line of incredibly powerful wizards and witches.  You yourselves used transfiguration on a **person** at five years old.  That's almost impossible.  And Lilith… I saw you use wandless magic at Florean's to pick up your spoon of the ground.  You didn't recite a spell or anything, just subtly waved your hand above it, and up it came.  And both of you… and your mother… there's something different about you.  You have this… aura… it's almost regal.  And you glow… I mean, you're literally luminescent.  You're obviously absolutely full to the brim with power, and that's what Dumbledore needs for the Light, and particularly in the Order," Fred whispered in a rushed way.

            "And I noticed that when you get angry, you start to change.  It's very subtle… but a slight hint of red begins to show up in your hair…" Lee added.

            "You figure us out so easily…" Rory said nervously as they hurried to the Leaky Cauldron.

**A/N:  **Whew!  *wipes brow*  Bow to the penguins!  And now.. cookies for reviewers!

_Merlin Halliwell:  Thanks!  And… great minds think alike… *wink*  ^__^_


	4. Family Secrets

**A/N:  **More plot!  Those penguins are really taking over… I had to change the genre to drama!  Once I got through with chapter three I was really on a roll, and couldn't stop!  Oh, and any suggestions, comments, or advice are welcome.  I might not use what you give me, but I'll listen.  :^__^  R&R please!!  Need reviews…  Oh and this chapter is kinda short…

**Disclaimer:**  Yep.  Mmmm hmmm.  Yup.  *chugs Dr. Pepper*  What?  What's that you say, Mr. Evil Penguin Overlord?  Oh yeah… alas, but Io not own any characters that you recognize.

**Chapter 4:  Family Secrets.**

When everyone was finished eating dinner, Fred rose, and asked if he could walk Lilith and Rory to their room.  They agreed, much to Lilith's dismay.  She had been having quite a nice conversation with George about Quidditch.  As Fred led them away, she looked disappointedly back at George, and mouthed, "I'm sorry," leaving him turning red from head to toe… well **redder**…

            "Can I do anything else for you ladies, " Fred asked when they reached the girls' room, hoping to be invited in.

            "No thanks, goodnight," Rory said, rushing him back down the stairs.

            "Thank goodness he's out of our hair," Rory said once they were inside.  "He's obviously nothing but a hormone-crazed lust monkey."

            "Yes, I do believe hormone-crazed lust monkey fits him.  I think Lee is still suspicious of us, but George…" replied Lilith, trailing off.

            "George is a sweetie," Rory said, putting the words in her sister's mouth.

            "Yes, he's a sweetie.  He's shy and quiet… and even though he and Fred are identical, I find him to be the cuter of the two.  He's absolutely adorable," Lilith said, resembling a thirteen-year-old girl whom has just discovered boys.

            "He's darling.  You fancy him, don't you?" Rory asked.

            "F-f-fancy him?  W-well I don't know about f-f-fancy…" Lilith stammered.  "I hardly know him."

            Rory searched her with those dark, knowing eyes of hers.

            "Okay, okay, I fancy the pants off him, to put it quite bluntly.  But I'd really rather not discuss my schoolgirl crush at the moment.  I believe there are more pressing matters at hand," Lilith said with a sigh.

            "You mean about Voldemort, the war, and this 'Order of Phoenix?'" Rory asked.

            "Yes.  Fred is right, you know.  That conversation was the only time all day that he wasn't reeking testosterone," replied Lilith, as she sat down at the vanity and began running a brush through her long ebony locks.

            "Lilith… we can't let ourselves become involved in this war.  Neither can Mum.  Daddy is involved enough for all of us.  He's a spy amongst the Dark Lord's ranks, for Merlin's sake!" Rory whispered tensely.

            "Yes, Daddy is constantly in quite a bit of danger.  But the Light **needs** us.  You heard Fred.  You saw what's going on.  We can't just sit on the sidelines and watch our world be turned upside down.   Even if Dumbledore doesn't ask us to join his order, we **must** do something!" Lilith protested.

            "Oh yes, we'll do something, and then world will know exactly WHY we 'glow with power', as Fred put it.  What about when the Muggles find out?  We'll but hunted down like wild animals!  We'll be destroyed!  We've already exposed too much of ourselves as it is.  I say we watch at wait.  We drift into the background, and use it to our advantage.  We can't just go about announcing who and what we are even though we are Light.  We can't be brave to the point of insanity," Rory said, beginning to raise her voice.

            "Sis, I feel your fear.  Believe me, I'm scared too.  I'd rather people just keep thinking we're strange with our ancient Celtic clothing fashions, and the weird aura we put off, without knowing why.  However, if we just sit back and watch, what happens when Voldemort becomes Lord of this World?  He'll find us out eventually and even if he doesn't, we'll be destroyed along with the rest of the world.  We have a better chance for survival  if we help fight this war.  And even if you don't help us, or Mum doesn't, or Daddy forbids it, I'll fight for the Light anyway," Lilith said quietly, but earnestly.

            "And if Mum forbids it?  Will you go back on ** her **ruling?" Rory asked, obviously making a point.

            "Yes, if that's what it takes, I will," Lilith replied, growing even quieter.

            "Dear sister, you are as brave as you are quiet,.  But you are also as stubborn as you are meek.  However, I believe your bravery and **thick** head are all of a sudden dominating your quietness and meekness.  You only care that Light prevails don't you?  And you're willing to go by any means to ensure that it does… I admire that in you, I really do, even though I don't share those qualities.  I'd much rather step down and do things the underhanded way.  And sometimes that's just what you have to do.  You can't always be the hero," Rory said, before blowing out the candle beside her bed and laying down to go to sleep.

            Lilith, however, could not go to sleep.  Would her family really betray her if she stood by what she knew to be right?  Yet, there was nothing else she could do.  She couldn't stand by and do nothing while a dark wizard wrought devastation on the only world she knew!  Rory did have her reasons, of course.  Their kind had been hunted for ages, until there were very few of them left.  The one person in the wizarding world who knew their secret was Albus Dumbledore, and they were reluctant to let anyone else find out.  However, Albus had kept their secret hidden this long, undoubtedly saving their lives countless times.  If anything, they were in debt to him, and had no choice but to fight in the war.  Mankind might not be something Lilith often trusted in, but now was definitely a time when it needed all the help it could get.


	5. Journey to Hogwarts

**A/N:  **I was up all night last night with food poisoning (ick) and decided to do something productive in between times when the lining was ripping out of my stomach… so I wrote Chapters 5, 6, and part of 7 in my spiral in bed.  Yay.  Anyway, the penguins have gone insane, as you will see.  I got the Chicago soundtrack!!!  (My get well present to myself…)

**Disclaimer:  **I do not own HP related characters.  I do not own Disturbed's "Droppin' Plates."  I do own a CD with the song on it.  And a very bad case of food poisoning.  My mom gave me some kind of name for it (she's a nurse)… it sounded like she said gigabyte…

Chapter 5:  Journey to Hogwarts 

Lilith and Rory woke up two mornings later full of excitement.  Today they were finally going to Hogwarts!  And it wasn't often that they got to don Muggle clothing instead of their usual Celtic raiment.

            Lilith put on a short red and black plaid skirt with safety pins holding the pleats together, a black tight baby tee that said "DISTUBED:  THE SICKNESS" on the front, and black tap shoes.  She then parted her hair into two ponytails, tying each one off with a gothic Hello Kitty shoelace.

            Rory, on the other hand, was wearing "skater" pants, big enough to cloth the **entire** Snape family… at the same time.  These "BIG pants", as she liked to refer to them, had little glittery pink hearts all over them.  She was also wearing a pink tight baby tee, with KORN written on it in baby blue.  She tied her two ponytails off with bright blue and pink My Little Pony shoelaces.  On her feet she wore what looked to Muggles like roller blades.  These "roller blades" didn't actually "roll."  They hovered, hence the name "Hover Blades."

            When they were done getting dressed, they hurried downstairs, where their attire shocked everyone but their mother, whom was wearing a Cabaret dress.

            "Well, I suspect our clothing will fuel your father's rage enough," remarked Vicious, approving.

            "Do you three **like** making Severus angry?" Molly asked.

            "Of course.  He's funny when he gets all hissy," all three Snape women replied at once.

            "Hissy?" asked Fred and George.

            "Yes," said Vicious.

            "Hissy," Lilith added.

            "He growls," Rory said.

            "And then I say 'Who's my puppy?'" Vicious put in, laughing.

            "Which just makes him growl even more," Lilith said.

            "And we all laugh at him until he starts barking," Rory finished.

            All three women fell into a fit of evil laughter, which soon turned into high-pitched giggling.

            An hour later, the Weasleys and the Snapes were on Platform 9 ¾ waiting to board the Hogwarts Express.

            "Now you, **all** of you be good," Molly said as she waved goodbye to everyone.

            "We will," they all replied, some serious, and some… not so serious.

            "Oh, and Vici… do look after them, won't you?" Molly added.

            "Sure thing, Molly!" Vicious said with an evil grin.

            Molly disappeared through the wall, and Vicious turned to the bunch of dunderheads beside her.

            "All right listen up, you MONKEYS!  I'm going to sit up front.  I want everyone's solemn word that you will raise hell all the way to Hogwarts," she said.

            "Yeah, sure Mum," replied Lilith and Rory, while the Weasleys, Hermione, and Harry yelled, "What?!?!"

            Vicious just walked off.

            "Hey Mum!  You've still got my Jacks!  How do you expect me to raise hell without my Jacks, goddamnit!"  Rory shouted after her.

            "Okay fine, take your stupid Jacks, ya punk ass!" Vicious yelled back, laughing as she threw the Jacks to her daughter.

            "Be-yotch!" Rory and Lilith yelled back at her, as they boarded the train.

            "OH MY GOD!" yelled Ron.

            "Who's God?" asked Lilith and Rory.

            "I don't know… it just seemed appropriate at the time…" he replied.

            With that, they settled in and waited for the trolley witch.

            All of a sudden, a short and thin pixie with the bright red hair and green cat's eyes, that are the telling trait amongst pixies, appeared with a pop and begun singing, "I want my baby back!  I want my baby back!  Chiiiliii's baby back ribs… barbeque sauce," in her incredibly high-pitched pixie voice.

            "Um Ebony, why are you here?" Lilith asked.

            "I don't know… Goodbye!" Ebony replied, and disappeared with another pop.

            "Okay…" said Rory.

            Not long after that Neville Longbottom showed up at the door.

            "Can I sit with you guys?" he asked.

            "Um, Neville, I really don't think there's room… we already have seven people in here," Hermione replied.

            "Oh," he said disappointedly, and started to walk away.

            "Hey!" yelled Rory.  "Be nice to him!  He's cute!"

            "Yes ma'am!" everyone replied, knowing the wrath of Rory.

            With that, Rory got up and ran to the front of the train to bug the prefects.

            Seconds later, they heard several screams and Rory showed back up at their compartment with several pairs of boxers in hand.

            "Oh, oh, I want the ones that say 'My wand is bigger than yours!' on the back!" Lilith yelled.

            Rory threw the pair to Lilith, who asked, "Whose are these anyway?"

            "Draco Malfoy's," replied Rory.

            "Blackmail material!  Score!  Wait a minute… his wand… BIG?  Yeah right!  He's part veela!"  Lilith yelled, as everyone else snickered.

            "Hey Harry, aren't you glad we decided not to sit with the prefects?" Hermione asked.

            "Well, it wouldn't have made any difference, seeing as I'm  not wearing any underwear," he answered.

            A shocked gasp rose from everyone except Lilith and Rory, who said, "Ooooh!!!  SEXY!"

            Fred decided to take this moment to show off his tidy whities, hoping to get an "Ooooh!!!  SEXY!" out of Lilith and Rory in his respect.  Luckily for everyone, the trolley witch showed up.

            When everyone had stockpiled on candy and other such things filled with sugar, everyone stared at Lilith.  She was eating a Chocolate Frog in a very strange fashion.  First she ate the limbs, one by one, nibble by nibble, then the body, and around its head, making it suffer through to the very last bite.

            "What ARE you doing?" Ron asked.

            "She's torturing it," Rory replied calmly.

            "It's fun to torture them because they actually move, unlike Animal Crackers, or Gummi Bears, or Teddy Grahams… they're Muggle snacks.  It's like the frogs are alive and saying 'No!  Please don't eat me!  Ouch!  That hurts!'" Lilith said.

            Everyone except Rory stared at her blankly. 

            "What can I say?  I'm a sadistic bitch," Lilith said, apparently thinking that these words justified her actions.

            With that, Ebony popped in again, just long enough to sing, "Barbeque saaaaauce…" in a surprisingly deep voice for a pixie.  And then she was gone again.

            Next thing everyone knew, Lilith and Rory were in the hallway singing a very strange song that no one in the compartment had ever heard.

            "_You said it couldn't be done_

_            Told me it's the kind of battle that just couldn't be won_

_            You know_

_            You're too sick, too hard, too fucked in the head_

_            You'll never make it, no_

_            Not in this lifetime_

_            Well guess again my friend_

_            Don't act surprised_

_            We got the bass drum kick that will blow out your eyes, punk_

_            Puttin' thoughts in your mind and droppin' plates on your ass…_

_            Said here I come, I'm droppin' plates, said I'm droppin plates!_

_            Plates on your ass bitch, plates on your ass!_"

            Hermione looked up at them, shocked, and asked, "What was that?"

            "Disturbed," Rory replied.

            "We did tell Mum that we would raise Hell.  MWAAAAAAHH!!!"  Lilith said, as flames rose up around herself and Rory, and then disappeared.

            "And Hell we rose.  Let's go scare first-years!" Rory yelled.

            "Okie dokie on the okefanokie, pokie wokie," Lilith replied.

            "Food poisoning from El Plato de Oro in Jacksonville… don't ever eat there," Harry mused.

            Luckily for all involved, the insane trip to Hogwarts was soon over.

            And now, back to the reality of the plotline.  (Scary thing isn't it?)

**A/N:  ** Uhhhh… yeah… told ya the plot penguins went insane… cookies to reviewers…

Dark Queen of Roses:  Okie you're in there.  Don't ask about the Chili's thing though, I have no idea where it came from.  I pretty much just write whatever comes into my head, unless I already had something in mind beforehand.  And this chapter was all spontaneity.  And the penguins escaped with a deck of rather risqué playing cards!  (Got that from the new movie with Jackie Chan and Owen Wilson, Shanghai Knights)

Kippinator:  Thanks!  *serves up the next chapter*  And even though the next chapter is also just as insane as this one… it's still important to the plot line!  

R&R  Neeeeeeed reviews!


	6. The Feast

**A/N:**  The penguins are still insane, but there's plot mixed in with the insanity this time.  ^__^

**Disclaimer:  **I DON'T KNOW!

Chapter 6:  The Feast 

            "Before the Sorting Ceremony begins, I would like to introduce to everyone the new Defense Against the Dark Arts professor, Vicious Snape!" Dumbledore announced when all the students were in the Great Hall.

            "MY WIFE!  YOU GAVE THE POSITION I HAVE WANTED FOR YEARS TO MY WIFE?!?!?"  Severus Snape bellowed as he jumped onto the Professors' table.

            "Now, now Sevvie, dear, let's not throw a hissy fit," Vicious said in a sugary sweet tone, as she walked over to the table.

            Severus just growled at her.

            "Awww, look at my puppy!  Now take that ridiculous glamour you're wearing off," Vicious said, as if she were talking to a three-year-old.

            "I will do no such thing," he growled.

            "Then I'll do it for you," she replied, and with a wave of her hand, her husband turned into a very handsome man with shoulder-length non-greasy black hair, and a cute little button nose.

            "Why the hell are you wearing a Cabaret dress?" he asked.

            "The better to piss you off with.  You're so cute when you're angry," she replied.

            "Okie dokie," Dumbledore said, amused.  " We also have with us the Professors' two daughters, coming to us in their seventh year.  They will now be sorted.  Professor McGonagall?"

            Professor McGonagall lifted the Sorting Hat off the stool, and yelled, "SNAPE, AURORA!"

            Rory walked up to the stool, and sat down.  As soon as the hat was on her head, it fell onto the floor in violent convulsions, yelling, "Eviiiil!!"

            McGonagall picked the hat up and asked, "Which house?"

            "S-s-slytherin…" it replied shakily.

            "MUHAHA…" laughed Rory and walked off to the Slytherin table.

            Professor Severus Snape was wearing a very large grin and looked to be suppressing tears, while saying, "That's my girl."

            "SNAPE, LILITH!" Professor McGonagall shouted immediately after.

            It seemed the hat wasn't having a good night, because this time it yelled, "PSYCHO BITCH!"

            "What did you call me?" Lilith asked.

            "A psycho bitch," the hat replied.

            "Oh that's okay then," she said,

            "Which house, please?" McGonagall asked exasperatedly.

            "DUH!!!  Gryffindor…" the hat replied as if it was absolutely obvious.

            Lilith paled there on the stool.  Smoke was coming out of Severus' ears and his hair began turning red.  Rory rocked back in her chair, and yelled excitedly, "Yay!!!  Daddy's pissed off!"

            "Oh yeah!" Lilith yelled, and skipped off to the Gryffindor table.

            Severus got up from the Professors' table and marched over to the Gryffindors, until he was standing by Lilith.

            "LILITH AMAYA SNAPE!!!" he thundered.  "I am **very** disappointed in you."

            "But Daddy, it's not my fault the stupid hat put me in Gryffindor!  Not everyone can be as evil as Rory is!" Lilith protested.

            Rory smiled and waved, then went back to talking to Malfoy, reminiscing  over days of old, and plotting the demise of Harry Potter.

            "Yes, I suppose you're right," Snape said, realizing his mistake.  "I'm still very proud of you, Lilith."

            "Oh Daddy, I love you!" Lilith cried, jumping on to her father.

            "I am not an amusement ride, goddamnit!" he screamed.

            Lilith giggled, kissed his cheek, and sat back down, as Dumbledore whispered to McGonagall, "So Minerva, how do you like my new form of entertainment?"

            When dinner was over and everyone was in their respective common rooms, Fred waited until Angelina, his girlfriend, had gone to bed.  He then turned to Lilith and asked, "Can I walk you to your room?"

            "You can," Lilith said.  "But may you?"

            "Okay, **may** I walk you to your room?  Since it's separate from the other rooms, I wouldn't want you to get lost," he said, working the old fake chivalry angle.

            "I guess so," she replied.  "Goodnight George, goodnight Lee."

            As she started to walk up the stairs, Fred looked back at his best friend and his twin and pretended to grab her booty.

            He led her down the corridors until they got to her room, at which time he invited himself in.

            "Um Fred, I'm really tired.  I'd like to go to bed now," Lilith said.

            "With me?" Fred asked, as if it were an everyday occurrence.

            "Ummm… not quite.  By myself is what I meant," Lilith replied.

            "Oooh… kinky…" Fred said.

            "Not that way!  I meant sleep, you baka yero!  Now please leave my room!" Lilith yelled.

            "I don't want to," Fred replied, as he pulled her to himself in a violent kiss, letting his hands roam wherever they wanted to.

            "What are you doing?" Lilith screamed, pushing him away.

            "Exactly what you wanted me to do," Fred said grabbing her again.

            "You arrogant bastard!  I don't care if your parents were happily married at the time of your conception!  You son of a bitch!  No offense to Molly…" she yelled, and let her hand go hard against his cheek, where a bruise in the shape of a hand would soon be.

**A/N:  ***gasp*  I didn't mean to turn poor Fred into an asshole!  Those damn penguins again…  Ah well… it was necessary.  Oh and "baka yero" is "stupid fool" in Japanese.  And sorry this chapter was so short.  The next will be longer, I promise!


	7. In The Beginning

**A/N:**  Apparently there's more insanity.  Damn penguins.  Anyway, WARNINGI!  *bright lights flash and siren goes "Neener neener neener!!!"*  There is mild slash in this chapter.  It just hints at it… don't worry, there's no details, no lemony freshness, none of that.  In fact, it might not have been slash at all.  But of course, anyone with hormones will see that it slightly is.  But anyway the chapter isn't centered around it, and I would be very sad if you didn't read it just because of that part… but hey it's all to your discretion.  I neeeeeeeeed reviews for my veins filled with radioactive rubber pants!  DO NOT DENY MY VEINS!  Hehe…  Poor poor Fred… I really do love him, he is my soulmate (Well so is George and Orlando Bloom and Legolas… but that is soooo not the point!) and I'm doing this to him.  L

**Disclaimer:  **MINE!!!  You don't believe me, do you?  *sniffle, cry, wah wah*

Chapter 7:  In The Beginning… 

            The next morning as Lilith was eating breakfast; Fred came up behind her, put his hands on her shoulders, leaned down, and whispered in her ear, "I'd much appreciate it if you didn't mention last night's events to anyone."

            Lilith swung around, yelling at the top of her lungs and poking Fred in the chest with her forefinger, "Oh I bet you'd like that, wouldn't you?  You'd like it if I didn't tell anyone that you tried to force yourself on me, you insufferable jerk!  Well guess what!  **NO ONE **messes with Lilith Snape and gets away with it!"

            With that, she burst into tears and ran out of the Great Hall towards Gryffindor Tower.

            Severus stood up and stalked over to Fred.

            "Don't you **ever… even… think… **of touching either of my daughters **ever** again.  One hundred and fifty points from Gryffindor!!" he shouted, lifted Fred off the ground by his shirt collar.

            "Y-y-yes sir…" Fred stammered as Snape dropped him to the ground.  And yes, he peed his pants.

            Fred sat back down, not paying any attention to the yellow puddle on the floor, and flashed a weak grin to the other Gryffindors, trying to act as if the whole display hadn't happened.

            Angelina looked over to him and said with tears in her eyes, "How could you?  You said you LOVED me!  Lilith was right.  You **are** an insufferable jerk."

            Angelina ran out of the hall, also heading towards Gryffindor Tower.

            Just when Fred thought it was all over and he was safe, George stood up to say his piece.

            "I can't believe you, Fred.  Lilith and Angelina are both very nice girls.  Do you understand what kind of hell you just subjected yourself to you?  No?  Let me lay it out for you.  One, the whole Quidditch team is going to hate you for what you did to Angelina.  Two, all of Gryffindor is going to hate you for what you did to both girls and for losing one hundred and fifty points from the house, before we even **had** any points.  Three, all the Snapes are going to hate you for what you did to Lilith.  And two of the Snapes are your professors!  Four, albeit she is a Gryffindor, all the Slytherins will hate you because Lilith is a Snape.  Five, you will **never** get a date again unless the girl is a Muggle from America or something.  Six, Mum is going to get wind of this, and she and Dad are going to be furious.  And you know what?  I'm ashamed to be called your twin.  I'm going to go tell Lilith and Angelina now that it is almost time for Care of Magical Creatures and apologize on your behalf for your actions.  With Charlie standing for Hagrid as professor, this is sure to be a good lesson, and I don't want the girls to miss it.  Oh, and Fred?  Try to refrain from speaking to me in public again," George said as he stormed out of the hall.  It was the most his more outgoing and exuberant twin had ever let him say at one time.

            Ten minutes later, the seventh and fifth year Gryffindors and Slytherins gathered together by Hagrid's hut for their first Care of Magical Creatures class.  Charlie had chosen to keep holding classes there, hoping not to change things too much.

            "Some of you may know me and others may not.  My name is Charlie Weasley.  I was previously working with dragons in Romania.  However, this year Professor Hagrid had some very pressing business to attend to and Professor Dumbledore asked me to step in.  Today we are going to start a unit on sharrs.  I have decided to combine the fifth and seventh year classes for this unit.  You will find out why when I deem it necessary to tell you.  Now, can anyone tell me anything about these magnificent creatures?" Charlie said, beginning the lesson.

            Hermione, of course, began frantically waving her hand in the air.

            "Yes, Hermione?" Charlie said, calling on her.

            "A sharr is a light brown kitten-like animal with a pointed snout and two delicate white fluttery wings.  They are only found in high, rocky places, they love sunshine, and they are very shy," Hermione explained.

            Charlie then brought out one of these creatures, and everyone ooohed and ahhhed over its utter adorableness.

            "This little booger's name is The Cuteness," Charlie said, as a few of the Muggle-borns snickered.

            Charlie's voice droned on and on, but Rory didn't hear a single word of it.  In fact, she wasn't hearing anything at all except for the pounding of her own heart.  She could taste the dryness of her mouth and was suddenly aware of every nerve in her body.  She had never believed in love at first sight before.  But that was all before she laid eyes on the second eldest Weasley boy.

            Her mouth hung open to the ground.  Draco reached over and closed it for her.  This was to no avail, however, because gravity kept pulling it downward again every time Draco closed it, until it all became very redundant and drool began seeping out of the corners of her mouth and down her chin.

            Later that day, Draco followed Lilith into Gryffindor Tower and snuck up to the fifth year boys' dormitory.  He knocked on the door and Ron Weasley answered it.

            "What is it with this Weasley charm?" Draco yelled.  "Rory Snape is head over heels for Charlie, Lilith Snape OBVIOUSLY likes George, even though Fred refuses to see it that way and George is just oblivious to the whole thing.  Last year a VEELA fell for Bill…  How come the Weasleys get all the hot chicks?!?!  **I** should be getting those girls.  I'm good-looking, I'm Slytherin, and I'm rich!"

            "You really want to know how we do it?" Ron asked.

            "Yes!  I demand to know!" Draco replied, stamping his foot.

            Ron grinned; he had been waiting for this moment for a **very ** long time.  

            "Okay, but don't say you didn't ask for it,"  Ron said as he pulled Draco into the empty room.

            Twenty minutes later Draco came stumbling out into the hallway wearing a pair of old, faded blue jeans that looked as if they  had seen a few previous owners, a maroon sweater with an "R" knitted on the front, and a dazed, goofy grin.  He swayed down the stairs, and collapsed on the Common Room floor.

            Lee Jordan looked up from the new invention that Fred had been showing him, trying to bring him into Weasley Wizard Wheezes since George now wanted nothing to do with him.  What he saw came as a bit of a shock.

            Draco Malfoy was passed out on the plush maroon carpet of the Gryffindor Common Room, wearing what looked like Ron Weasley's jeans and sweater.  His hair was all mussed up, whereas it was usually slicked back with way too much Sleakeasy's.  His face was all flushed, his lips were swollen, and  he had… bite marks… on his neck.  So Lee picked Draco up, and carried him up the stairs to the fifth year boys' room. 

            "Um, Ron," Lee said as he opened the door and stepped in.  "I think you'd better take care of your… um… toy.  Give him a chocolate frog or something."

            Lee then dashed out of the room, completely disturbed and disgusted.

**A/N:  **Hehehehehe!!!!  I can just SEE Draco passed out on the floor and Lee finding him.  I promise you will get plot the next chapter.  Oh, and the "sharr" comes from The Seven Songs of Merlin by T.A. Barron, in the Lost Years of Merlin series.  They're really good books and they have a bunch of cool magical creatures in them.  And I thought sharrs sounded sooooo cute!  I want one!  Oh and "The Cuteness" comes from Master of Disguise.  For those of you who haven't seen it… it's awesome!  Ok now, cookies for my lovely reviewers.  (There's too few of you!  I WANT MORE, DANG IT!)

_kippinator:  Well… I shall try to keep it PG-13.  But knowing me, some language will seep out every now and then.  And this fic will only be hinting at slash, which is more than I can say for some other stories I've written… hehehehe… I have a feeling I'm going to have a lot of fun writing about Lilith and Rory's antics.  Although, I swear I'm going to have plot in here somewhere!  If you like pranks and giving the twins a run for their money, go to my website and read Succession of the Dragon.  It's about Alena Black (Sirius' little sister) and Crystalline Snape (Severus' little sister).  They're War Mages.  The story has no plot whatsoever… it's all just random insanity.  It's rated R for language and sexual content.  Slash is included.  And we're still working on the site so images and stuff aren't up yet. I'm gonna shut up now!_

_Elfmoon87:  Of course he did.  Hehehehe… But even though there's a plot, things will continually get crazier in the Snape family.  *Wink wink*  ^_^_


	8. Dumbledore's Office

**A/N:  **Plot is back.  Sorry this took so long…  it was kind of hard to write.  Yes, all the Weasleys are there, so you do recognize those names.  Amos is Amos Diggory (he wants retribution for what Voldie did to Cedric).  Arabella is of course, Arabella Figg.  Aeredhwyn (pronounced AIR-eth-win)  my own invention.  She is an Elf, and Bill's girlfriend.  Madalyn Monroe and Cara Riley are my inventions, and Tim Burr is based on a friend of mine.  (I needed someone else for the trials and I had already used a bunch of canon characters and I already had a lot of girls making the team so I created a guy.  And when I was trying to think of a name for him, the first name that came to my mind was Timber… which is what I call my very droolworthy friend Tim.  *winks at Timber*  (Timber you had so better review for this.  If you don't… keep in mind that I know exactly where you will be sleeping when you come down for your campus visit. *evil malicious laugh*

**Disclaimer:**  No they're not mine.  Wish they were but hey… life is hard and then you die.

Chapter 8:  Dumbeldore's Office 

            "Now, I have a job for each of you called to be a member of this Order," Dumbledore said after he had introduced everyone to everyone who didn't know each other.

            The first meeting of the Order of Phoenix had just been called to order.

            "Bill… you will set out as soon as this meeting is done to begin setting protective charms on all of the Gringotts locations.  Charlie, you will be working with Rory.  The two of you will be training a cavalry of wyverns for battle.  Arthur and Percy, you will be my eyes and ears in the Ministry.  Do everything you can to rally those that you know you can trust to the Light.  However, you must be careful.  It's hard to know who is on our side these days.  Fred, George, and Lilith… you three will be setting up security at **all** entrances to the school.  Oliver, you will be physically training Harry, Hermione, Ron, and Ginny.  Vicious, you will be magically and mentally training the aforementioned four.  Remus, Sirius, Amos, and Arabella… you will be the sympathizers… the comfort… the relief… that the attacked families will need.  You will be what the Muggles call the Red Cross.  Severus, I need you to continue what you are already doing.  Aeredhwyn, we need you to do everything in your power to sway the Elves to our cause.  And, finally, Molly… your job is the reason that this Order is so aptly named," Dumbledore said and paused for effect.

            He smiled and his blue eyes twinkled through his half-moon glasses as he spoke.

            "It is a most ingenious idea, and I am quite proud of it.  You see, I will place a connection in each of you to Molly.  She can't check in on you or read your thoughts or see what you are doing, just as you cannot do the same to her.  However, she can sense when you are in danger and know your exact location.  Or if perhaps, you have urgent information concerning our cause, Molly will be able to sense the urgency, and know what is going on.  She will then tell one of the phoenixes that we will have housed in her home, and the phoenix will come to me relaying the message through a code in his song that Fawkes and I have developed.  It would be easier, perhaps, to simply instill the connection in me.  But that is what our enemy expects.  And of course, if you are at Hogwarts, you may come to me with whatever information you may have.  Molly, I hope that you and Arthur wouldn't mind harboring these birds in your home?" Dumbledore said, leaving everyone awestruck.

            "No, not at all," Molly replied.

            "Well then, you are dismissed," Dumbledore announced with a smile.

            As everyone was turning to leave, Dumbledore said quietly, "Professors Snape, I would like you and your daughters to stay behind for a moment, if you will."

            "I know you four are doing much in this war already, but I beg of you… please consider revealing yourselves and bringing your people to our aid… I know we can win this thing if you do," Dumbledore said when the room cleared.

            "Albus," Vicious replied, "I know you have done much for us **and** our kind.  However, I can't ask that my people join this war.  I can't even ask my family to do more than they are already doing.  Our people have long been in hiding; I can't ask them to sacrifice their secrecy to kill off this threat when they will only be hunted down by the entire magical world when the war is over.  I'm sorry Albus."

            "Oh, it's quite alright dear. I'm sure we will find another way to win this war," Dumbledore replied with a grieved look in his eyes that spelled out exactly false he suspected his reassurances to be.

            With that, the Snapes left the office to go bed, as it was nearing midnight.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

            Lilith woke up the next morning, hot with anticipation.  The morning of the Gryffindor Quidditch trials had finally come.  She grabbed her Phoebus and a bite to eat as she hurried out to the pitch.

            "These are the positions we have open:  Primary Keeper, Reserve Keeper, three Reserve Chasers, two Reserve Beaters, and a Reserve Seeker.  In the even that a player is unable to participate in a match, their Reserve will step up.  Don't worry; it will only be for that one match.  Since we have so many seventh-years, the Reserves will be taking the place of many players next year.  Now, let us begin," Harry Potter, the new team captain announced.

            The players split up; the Keepers went to the goals for blocking, while the Chasers vied with Angelina Johnson, Alicia Spinnet, and Katie Bell for the Quaffle.  The Beaters struggled to fight off the Bludgers that Fred and George were sending their way, and the Seekers raced to be the first to catch the Snitch.  Harry stood off to the side, observing with Madam Hooch.  Madam Hooch observed the trials for all the teams and gave advice where needed.

            Halfway into the trials, Harry turned to Madam Hooch and said, "Not a single Quaffle has gotten past Lilith Snape.  She's better than Wood was…"

            "Yes… she is quite good.  I think it's obvious what to do with her.  Mr. Burr hasn't missed many, and neither has Cara Riley," Madam Hooch replied.

            "What about the Chasers?  Madalyn Monroe is fast… but somehow I just don't think that Chaser is the right position for her.  And it seems Dean Thomas has come over to the Dark Side…" Harry mused.

            "I feel that Miss Monroe is more suited for a Beater's position.  And I agree… it does seem that Mr. Thomas has abandoned soccer, for he is exactly what we need in a Chaser.   Ron Weasley, I think, would do well following in Fred and George's footsteps," Madam Hooch said.

            "I agree about Ron.  I wanted to be objective and didn't know how it would look if I gave my best friend a position… but since you agree; I don't think it would be a problem.  Oh look, someone has caught the Snitch!"

            Student and professor looked up to see Colin Creevey waving the Snitch in the air.

            "That's good Colin.  Now release it, and start again," Harry said and turned to Madam Hooch.  "He's fast.  He has a good eye, and he has the build."

            "I can concur with that.  He's certainly nowhere near your level, but I think that by the time that you graduate he will have had enough training to be a remarkable Seeker."

            No other player got a chance the entire morning to catch the Snitch, as Colin caught it every single time.

            As lunchtime drew near, Harry called the trials to a halt.

            "Okay, the new positions will be filled as follows:  Our new Primary Keeper will be Lilith Snape.  Reserve Keeper: Tim Burr.  Reserve Chasers:  Virginia Weasley, Natalie McDonald, and Dean Thomas.  Reserve Beaters:  Ronald Weasley and Madalyn Monroe.  And for Reserve Seeker, Colin Creevey.  Practices will be held Monday, Wednesday, and Fridays from seven to nine p.m., and on Saturdays from eight to eleven a.m.  Every player is required to be at every practice unless you are on your deathbed, or otherwise have a **very** good reason.  Congratulations.  Let's go get some lunch!  Oh, and there will be a party held in the Common Room tonight.  Fred and George will provide food.  Don't ask how," Harry announced.

**A/N:  **Yay I finally finished!!!!  *there was much rejoicing*  Okay on to the cookies….

Dark Queen of Roses:  Hey girl… don't diss Pixies now.  Pixies rock!  (At least my Pixies do.  Don't worry… my Pixies are very different from Cornish Pixies.  Mine are very closely related to the Elves… anyway…)  I plan on incorporating Pixies a lot in this story, so be happy.  And trust me… you're perfect for a Pixie.  I may bring you in while you're in your human form later.  But that will be much later.  And sorry, but Fred is not up for grabs in this story.  It just wouldn't fit for him to be such a jerk, and then go and get a girlfriend.  The only way he would get a girl in this story is if he and Angelina reconciled, which I doubt that they will do.  However, if I do find a way to sneak Ebony's human form in, I may let her have a little romance.  All the Weasleys are currently taken though.  You could have Harry if you wanted though.  (Let me know… cuz if you don't want him, Ginny gets him.)  Or if you insist, I could create an OMC for you.  Let me know and all, cuz if I'm gonna be able to find a way to bring Ebony's human form in, I'm going to need to do it soon.  Email me or IM me on AIM anytime.  ^_^  I hope you continue to enjoy the story.

_kippinator:  Yay it was funny!  (Heh… I'm insane.  You think this story is pretty chaotic… you should see what it's like to be around me and my friends, lol.)  I posted this chapter as soon as I could.  It was rather hard for me to write because of the plot being so much… there… in it when I had been going with the insanity for so long.  And don't worry, I have quite a few more funny moments in mind for future chapters, and of course, more Snapey torture.  *evil grin*_


	9. Boobs, Butts, and Legs, OH MY!

**A/N:  **Ok well on these next two chapters the rating is gonna be borderline PG-13 and R.  Sorry… but it's only for the next two chapters.  If that's not your cup of tea, then trust me, if you choose to skip over these next two chapters, you're not missing **any of the plotline.  These next two chapters could stand alone if I wanted them to.  They're both just complete madness.  I've also decided to start using theme songs for each chapter.  I've discovered that when I'm reading a fic that has a theme song, it really helps me get into the mindset.  So, yeah.  The theme song for this chapter is Foxy Lady by Jimi Hendrix, and the lyrics are below the disclaimer.**

**Disclaimer:  **Blah blah blah I don't own a thing.  I'm just a penniless writer/college student/actress person.  So it wouldn't even cover your lawyer and courtroom fees to sue me.

_Foxy Lady by Jimi Hendrix:_

_Foxy _

_Foxy _

_You know you're a cute little heartbreaker _

_Foxy _

_You know you're a sweet little lovemaker _

_Foxy _

_I wanna take you home _

_I won't do you no harm, no _

_You've got to be all mine, all mine _

_Ooh, foxy lady _

_I see you, heh, on down on the scene _

_Foxy _

_You make me wanna get up and scream _

_Foxy _

_Ah, baby listen now _

_I've made up my mind _

_I'm tired of wasting all my precious time _

_You've got to be all mine, all mine _

_Foxy lady _

_Here I come _

_I'm gonna take you home _

_I won't do you no harm, no _

_You've got to be all mine, all mine _

_Here I come _

_I'm comin' to get ya _

_Foxy lady _

_You look so good _

_Yeah, foxy _

_Yeah, give us some _

_Foxy _

_Yeah, get it, babe _

_You make me feel like _

_Feel like sayin' foxy _

_Foxy _

_Foxy lady _

_Foxy lady  _

**Chapter 9:  Boobs, Butts, and Legs, OH MY!**

            Severus Snape stood up in front of his desk in the Potions classroom and looked at the students in front of him.  They were the Slytherin Quidditch team, which consisted of his best students and one of his daughters.

            "Let's recap.  What's the plan?" he said.

            "We slip the Geschlect-Schaltung Potion into everyone's goblet of pumpkin juice," Draco Malfoy replied in a bored tone.

            Snape glared at Draco and thundered, "Everyone?  Everyone except WHOM?"

            "Everyone except Lilith.  Gods Daddy, take a chill pill!" Rory said and led the way to the Great Hall singing her own rendition of "Ice Ice Baby."

            They were going to the Great Hall for breakfast before anyone else, to pull the prank of the century.  Even the Weasley twins couldn't come up with something this good.

            Severus had finally succeeded in brewing a Gryffindor-sized batch of Geschlect-Schaltung Potion, a rather powerful Gender-Switching potion that would transform its consumer into the opposite sex for an undetermined amount of time.  Fortunately for the victim, this potion would not leave the poor soul like that for forever.

            The Quidditch team and their Head of House hurried with their task and then ran back to the dungeons.  Breakfast would begin in fifteen minutes and they did NOT want to be the first ones there.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

            The Gryffindors (and Charlie Weasley, whom sat with his family every morning for breakfast) were chattering happily.  It was a Saturday morning and Saturdays were generally cheerful.  Plus, the pumpkin juice was even better than usual this morning.

            Ron dropped his form into his lap and looked down to retrieve it.  What he saw came as quite a shock.

            "Hmmmm…. I didn't have those this morning," he mused.  "But they are quite nice and perky."

            He looked over ate his brothers.

            "Daaaaaaaaaaaaamn… Charlie… George… you ladies are hot stuff!  Fred… you just look slutty and ugly," he exclaimed.

            The guys (excuse me… girls) just looked at him... her, bewildered.

            "Well…. Charlie, you got a nice rack.  If I were straight and you weren't my… sister… You'd be getting some of the Ronnie-sized loving right now.  And George, you got this whole sultry, seductive, but angelic, look going on.  But Fred, you just look like a washed-up drag queen that's been to Hell and back."

            Soon, the rest of the Gryffindors were discovering their changes.  The entire Gryffindor "male" population was wearing skirts!  And as it turns out, Cho Chang had quite a bit more competition, as many of the former guys made some damn fine girls.

            Rory got up and walked over to the Gryffindor table.

            "This `looks like fun!" she said, taking a long drink of Ron's pumpkin juice.

            She sat on the table and waited for… thinks… to change.

            In the meantime, Blaise Zabini walked over to the Gryffindor table.  

He knew that Draco had an all-consuming crush on Ron Weasley.  And Blaise was head over heels for Pansy Parkinson, who, in turn, was in love with Draco.  It was all Draco's fault, damn it all to hell.  (Yes it was all very confusing, and Blaise has weird logic.)  But now, the Ron had a nice, tight ghetto booty.  Those curves were killer.  All this just made it easier for Blaise to carry out his revenge.

            Blaise took Ron's hand and swept him… er… her… into a deep bow.  He was about to kiss "her", when Draco appeared in front of them, grabbed Ron, and yelled, "MINE!  Get your own redhead!"  He then passionately kissed "her".

            Severus then yelled, "Damn it!  I lost the bet!  They were supposed to publicly display their affections after a drastic life-saving heroic act that involved Volde... You-Know-Who!"

            "You know the terms puppy," Vicious said sweetly.

            Severus glowered and pouted… at the same time.

            "Oh puppy, quit your barking and get on with it," Vicious said, suppressing hysterical laughter.

            "FINE!" he yelled, and stood atop the table.

            "Vicious banged her glass with a spoon and Severus began to cheerfully sing "I'm a Little Teapot", hand motions and all.

            "I'm a little teapot,

            Short and stout!

            Here is my handle, 

            Here is my spout!

            When I get all steamed up,

`           Hear me shout:

            Eeeeeeeeee!!!

            TIP me over and pour me out!"

            Severus then sat down, buried his face in his hands, and said "I am **so embarrassed."**

            By this time, Rory had turned into a six-foot tall blonde guy with German features.  She… no, he… was hot enough to give James Marsters a run for his money.

            Lilith giggled and looked around herself.

            _//Hm…that Tim Burr makes one hell of a woman…if only I were a lesbian!// she thought._

            "I wanna be a guy too!" Lilith whined.

            "Well, duh!  Drink someone's Pumpkin juice," Rory replied.

            "Okie dokie!" Lilith said happily, and chugged down the remainder of George's juice.

            Severus looked up and lamented, "Nooooo!!!"

            "Oh shut it Daddy," Lilith said and stuck her tongue out at him.

            "Just think of it this way… we'll be like the sons you never had for an indefinite amount of time," Rory added.

            Severus nodded in agreement and went back to eating his breakfast, wondering how much his two **sons** could manage to get into.

            Lilith sat back and watched Rory waltz with Neville (who bore a remarkable resemblance to Marilyn Monroe) while waiting for the Potion to take effect.

            Roughly five minutes later, in Lilith's place there sat a young man, strikingly reminiscent of Severus Snape.  He had shoulder-length black hair with blue streaks, sharp angled features, and sexy ivory skin.  He had the underfed rock star look, but it was just as becoming as the German's muscles and tan.  **This** was what Severus Snape had most certainly looked like when he was seventeen years old.

            Lilith looked over to Rory and smiled an evil grin.

            "You know, I've always wondered what its like to stand up to take a pee…" she said.

            "Let's go find out!" Rory replied excitedly.

            The two ran out of the hall to begin a whole new adventure.

            Ron then looked over to Hermione.

            "My boobs are bigger than yours," he said.

            "Yeah, so?  My Mr. Winkie is bigger than yours," she replied nonchalantly.

            They both nodded in agreement and finished their meal.

**A/N:  **That was pure madness.  And the next chapter is all insanity.  But after that… I **promise that I will bring the plotline back.  Ok and now cookies for the reviewers:**

_Elfmoon87:  Wow, thanks!  I do like writing plot, but it's a little bit more difficult after being funny all the time.  And being funny just comes easier to me.  Being evil rocks!  Thanks for being such a faithful reviewer, and I hope to continue entertaining you!_

_Dark Queen of Roses:  Quite alright.  Okay, Harry's all yours.  I think he's rather hot actually, even though he can be an ass at times.  (Not Dan Radcliffe though… he's WAY too young for me.)  The human form of Ebony will be coming in soon.  I promise.  Thanks, and keep reading!_


	10. Author's Note

**REALLY IMPORTANT AUTHOR'S NOTE!**

Y'all I am sooooo dumb.  I had forgotten what I had named the Gender-Switching Potion thingy so I just typed in *insert name of potion here*, thinking I would look up the name later.  And *of course* I forgot to look up the name.  And then I remembered while I was watching Seinfeld earlier.  But now the chapter has been edited with the name of the potion in there, so yeah.  Chapter 10 will be up soon.  I've got half of it written.  The other half just hasn't hit me yet.  Ok, enjoy!


	11. The REAL Chapter 10: Of Another Gender

**A/N:  **Ok sorry it's taken so long to get out.  Been busy, sharing computer time with Caytin, blah blah blah.  Plus, I have *a lot* of ideas for new fics running through my head.  There's an interdimensional HP meets Chicago type thing called "All That Jazz", a Gryffs and Slyths come to a high school in America type insane thing that Caytin and I will be co-writing called "The Cat's Meow:  A Musical", and a HP/LOTR crossover weird little plotty thing that I will be writing and is currently untitled.  So, yeah.  In this chapter there is some language, hints at sexual situations, and a song with some pretty strong language.  So yeah.  The theme song for this chapter is "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun", by Cyndi Lauper.  Oh and, yes, they are still Gender-Switched.  And don't ask how they know what a Ken doll is.  They just do.  So there!  *sticks tongue out* I have a very cute tongue… and cute feet… Okie dokie then…

**Disclaimer:**  Not mine.  *pout*

_Girls Just Wanna Have Fun, by Cyndi Lauper_

_I come home in the morning light  
My mother says "When you gonna live your life right?"  
Oh mother, dear  
We're not the fortunate ones  
And girls  
They wanna have fu-un  
Oh girls  
Just wanna have fun  
  
The phone rings in the middle of the night  
My father yells "What you gonna do with your life?"  
Oh daddy, dear  
You know you're still number one  
But girls  
They wanna have fu-un  
Oh, girls, just wanna have  
That's all they really want.....  
Some fun....  
  
When the working day is done  
Oh, girls  
They wanna have fu-un  
Oh, girls  
Just wanna have fun....  
  
Girls  
They want  
Wanna have fun  
Girls  
Wanna have  
  
Some boys take a beautiful girl  
And hide her away from the rest of the world  
I wanna be the one to walk in the sun  
Oh, girls  
They wanna have fu-un  
Oh, girls  
Just wanna have  
That's all they really want.....  
Some fun....  
  
When the working day is done  
Oh, girls  
They wanna have fu-un  
Oh, girls  
Just wanna have fun...  
  
  
_

**Chapter 10:  Of Another Gender**

            Later that week Lilith and Rory were sitting by the lake, deep in discussion.

            "Crotch.  It's always been called a crotch.  Why change it?" Rory said.

            "Because *crouch* sounds so much better.  And it's even funnier because it's the name of two dead idiot wizards.  The name of the dead must live on!"  Lilith argued.

            "True… okay, we'll call it a crouch.  It does have a nice ring to it…" Rory mused.

            "Dooooy!   Of course it does," Lilith replied, skipping a rock into the water.

            Rory leaned back against the large oak behind her and suddenly burst into hysterical giggles.

            "What?" Lilith asked, confused.

            "All the girls… that were guys," Rory replied breathlessly.  "They're VIRGINS!"

            "Oh my gods!  We can deflower virgins!" Lilith said excitedly.

            "We are such perverts," Rory said.

            "Yes.  Okay here's the deal.  We'll divide them up half in half.  Well… all hot ones.  We'll leave the ugly ones out," Lilith said.

            "Yeah… except for Ron.  I'm sure Draco has already popped that cherry," Rory replied.

            "Okay, I get George and Tim Burr," Lilith said, conjuring some parchment and a self-inking quill, and proceeded to make a list.

            "Yeah and I get Charlie.  And definitely Neville," Rory replied.

            Lilith copied all this down.

            "Do you think we should share?" she asked.

            "Uh… no…" Rory said, looking at her as if she had suddenly sprouted… boobs…

            "I was wondering something," Rory said a few minutes later.

            "What's that?" her sister replied as she stroked one of the gargantuous tentacles of the giant squid.

            "Well… what if a hermaphrodite drank that potion?" she asked.

            "Hmmm…" Lilith replied, appearing to be in deep thought.

            "I mean… would they turn into a Ken doll, or something?" Rory said, completely serious.

            "No," Lilith replied, having found the answer to world peace.  (Yes world peace depends on this, because the author says so.)  "They would turn into puppies."

            "Puppies!"  Rory squealed.

            With that, the girls got up and went into the Great Hall for lunch, where they found Ron, George, and Charlie Weasley, and Tim Burr on top of the Gryffindor table singing Missy Elliott's "Work It."
    
            _CHORUS:_
    
    _               Is it worth it, let me work it_
    
    _               I put my thing down, flip it and reverse it_
    
    _               It's your fremma neppa vinette_
    
    _               It's your fremma neppa vinette_
    
    _               If you got a big *elephant noisy*, let me search it_
    
    _               To find out how hard I gotta work ya_
    
    _               It's your fremma neppa vinette_
    
    _               It's your fremma neppa vinette_
    
    _               I'd like to get to know ya, so I can show ya_
    
    _               Put the pussy on ya, like I told ya_
    
    _               Gimme all your numbers so I can phone ya_
    
    _               Your girl acting skank than call me ova_
    
    _               Not on the bed, lay me on your sofa_
    
    _               Call before you come, I need to shave my chocha_
    
    _               You do or you don't or you will or you won't cha_
    
    _               Go downtown and eat it like a vulture_
    
    _               See my hips and my tips don't cha_
    
    _               See my ass and my lips don't cha_
    
    _               Lost a few pounds in my whips for ya_
    
    _               That the kinda beat that go ba ta ta_
    
    _               Ba ta ta ta ta ta ta ta ta_
    
    _               Sex me so good I say blah blah blah_
    
    _               Work it; I need a glass of wata_
    
    _               Boy oh boy it's good to know ya_
    
    _               (chorus)_
    
    _               If you're a fly gal, get your nails done_
    
    _               Get a pedicure, get your hair did_
    
    _               Boy lift it up, let's make a toasta_
    
    _               Let's get drunk, its gon bring us closa_
    
    _               Don't I look like a __Halle__Berry__ posta?_
    
    _               See ma Belvedere playin tricks on ya_
    
    _               Girlfriend wanna be like me neva_
    
    _               You won't find a bitch that's even betta_
    
    _               I'll make you hot as __Las Vegas__ weatha_
    
    _               Listen up close while I take you backwards_
    
    _               sdrawkcab ti ekat ot ekil yssiM yaw eht hctaW_
    
    _               I'm not a prostitute but I can give you whatchya want_
    
    _               I love your braids and your mouth full of floss_
    
    _               Love the way my ass go ba-bonka bonk bonk_
    
    _               Keep your eyes on my ba-bonka bonk bonk_
    
    _               And think you can handle this ba-donka dunk dunk_
    
    _               Take my thong off and my ass go boom_
    
    _               Cut the lights on so you see what I can do_
    
    _               (chorus)_
    
    _               Boys, boys, all type of boys_
    
    _               Black, white, Puerto Rican, Chinese boys_
    
    _               Wai tong tanya tongo tanya tang_
    
    _               Wai tong tanya tongo tanya tang_
    
    _               Girls, girls, get that cash _
    
    _               If its 9-5 or shakin your ass_
    
    _               Ain't no shame ladies, do yo thang_
    
    _               Just make sure you ahead of tha game_
    
    _               Just cuz I got a lotta fame supa_
    
    _               Prince couldn't get me change my name papa_
    
    _               Kunta Kinte, a slave again, no sir_
    
    _               Picture black sayin o yes a master_
    
    _               Picture Lil' Kim dating a pastor_
    
    _               Minute man big red can outlast ya_
    
    _               Who is the best, I don't have to ask ya_
    
    _               When I come out, you won't even matta_
    
    _               Why you act dumb like Big Dooog_
    
    _               You say you act dumb like uuugh, duh_
    
    _               As the drummer boy go pa rum pum pum pum_
    
    _               Give ya some some, some of this cinnabun_
    
    _               (Chorus)_
    
    _               To my fellas ooh_
    
    _               I like the way you work that_
    
    _               To my ladies, woo_
    
    _               You sure know how to work that._
    
    _               Good god_

            Everyone clapped and gave them a standing ovation.  Albus Dumbledore seemed to be particularly enjoying this.

            The next couple of weeks continued on in this fashion.  There was much deflowering of virgins and flamboyant sexuality, but it soon became monotonous.

            Lilith remarked to her sister one day before Potions, "You know, this is getting old.  To quote a certain sexy Irish Princess Greco-Roman Goddess with a body I would kill for and long beautiful red hair… 'There was much deflowering of virgins and flamboyant sexuality, but it soon became monotonous."

            Rory looked at her with one raised eyebrow and said, "Huh?"

            "Oh I don't know what came over me.  Suddenly I was compelled to say that… Oh well," Lilith replied.

            "Okaaay…" Rory said, looking scared.

            "In other words," Lilith said as they took their seats in the between the Gryffindor and Slytherin sides, "This would be all good and fun if I were a lesbian.  There's a hell of a lot of hot female Gryffs now!  But I'm just not attracted to them… not even to George.  I had a really hard (pun not intended) time completing my list."

            "Yeah, I guess.  But when I turned male, my mind turned male too," Rory said.

            "Oh I so envy you!"  Lilith replied jealously.

            The Slytherin's prank had not turned out quite as they had intended.  Most of the Gryffindors had enjoyed being the opposite sex for a while.  It had finally lost all its luster, but it didn't matter because things would back to normal in a few days anyway.

            Slowly, testosterone was creeping back into the "girls", and the "guy's" voices were getting higher.

            They would have to find a new source of entertainment, and soon.

            And now, the author has done all she could with this chapter and will proceed to the plottiness of Chapter Eleven.  The author apologized for the major shortness of this chapter.

**A/N:  **And now the reviewer cookies….

_kippinator:  LOL, I'm glad you like it.  More insanity to come!_

_Dark Queen of Roses:  Strange is my middle name.  ^_^  But thanks!_

_Elfmoon87:  LOL, thanks.  ^_^  Yes, Lilith and Rory have very… obscure… personalities…_


	12. Ch 11: Ice Pick

 **A/N:  Yay I'm typing it!  The next few chapters might be a bit slow in coming because hopefully, starting next week, I'll *finally* have a job, and the local school's Spring Break is next week, so I'll be babysitting my little brothers, *and* I'm having knee surgery soon.  And I am now juggling three fics… this one, Living in Twilight, and a new one titled Naked Man in a Trench Coat.  And I *really* need to finish another fic that I've been working on for a *really* long time to post on Through the Mirror.  So yeah.  The theme song for this chappy is "Inside Out" by Eve 6.  This chapter isn't supposed to be funny… but I find it funny.  Yep.  I thought about waiting to post this until I got some reviews for my last chapter, so y'all got lucky.**

**Disclaimer:  **Obviously they're not mine, or I wouldn't be a starving college student/actress/dancer/writer, and I would have my very own set of redheaded Mr. Slaves.

_Inside Out by Eve 6_

_{Chorus}  
I would swallow my pride  
I would choke on the rhines  
But the lack thereof would leave me empty inside  
I would swallow my doubt  
Turn it inside out  
Find nothing but faith in nothing  
Want to put my tender  
Heart in a blender  
Watch it spend round  
To a beautiful oblivion  
Rendezvous  
Then I'm through with you_

_I burn burn like a wicker cabinet  
Chalk white and oh so frail  
I see our time has gotten stale  
The tick-tock of the clock is painful  
All sane and logical  
I want to tear it off the wall  
I hear words and clips and phrases  
I think sick like ginger ale  
My stomach turns and I exhale_

_{Chorus}_

_So __Cal__ is where my mind states  
But it's not my state of mind  
I'm not as ugly sad as you  
Or am I origami?  
Folded up and just pretend  
Demented as the motives in your head_

_{Chorus}_

_I alone am the one you don't know you need  
Take heed feed your ego  
Make me blind when you eyes close  
Sink when you get close  
Tie me to the bedpost_

_I alone am the one you don't know you need  
You don't know you need me  
Make me blind when you get close  
Tie me to the bedpost_

_{Chorus}_

_Now I'm through with you!_

_Rendezvous  
Then I'm through with you_

**Chapter 11:  Ice Pick**

            Dumbledore sat down at his desk with a very grim expression on his face.  He had just gotten an urgent owl from the Ministry of Magic.  He needed a meeting with the Order of Phoenix… *ASAP*.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

            "I apologize for the suddenness of this meeting.  However, I fear that it is necessary.  Our Minister of Magic, Cornelius Fudge, has been assassinated… with an ice pick," Dumbledore announced, his face drawn.

            Exclamations of "An ice pick?", "What's an ice pick?", and "Whodunit?" were rampant.

            "Yes, an ice pick.  An ice pick is a sharp knife-like thing that Muggles use to breakup ice for drinking purposes.  And witnesses say that the Dark Mark was seen over the Ministry this morning, so we can assume that it was a Death Eater," said the Headmaster, answering everyone's questions.

            "But why would a Death Eater use a Muggle device as a weapon?  It is widely known that the Dark Lord and all his followers hate Muggles," Sirius Black said, stepping forward.

            "Yes, but it is a not so widely known fact that Fudge had an immense phobia of… ice picks," Dumbledore replied.

            "The Ministry has asked me to either step into the position of Minister, or appoint someone of my choice.  After much deliberation, I have decided to appoint Arthur Weasley as the new Minister of Magic," he continued.

            "M-m-me?" Arthur stammered.

            "Yes you, Arthur.  You are the best man for the job.  And because of the danger now associated with this position, you, Molly, Percy, and Bill will be joining the rest of your children here at Hogwarts," the old man said with a twinkle in his eye.

            The four younger Weasley children looked absolutely horrified at this.

            "You will be inducted tomorrow and will immediately move into the castle as our guests.  I do have one request… I ask that your first order of business be to fully pardon Sirius here.  Now, if you will excuse me, I have a dinner to eat and upcoming Halloween festivities to announce," the Professor said and left with the students and professors, while the rest of the attendees hurried through the corridors to the front door of the castle.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

            "Students and staff, as you well know, Halloween is two weeks away.  This year we will be doing something different.  Hogwarts will be hosting a Halloween Masquerade.  All students and professors are required to participate, and are encouraged to find a date.  Costumes are *mandatory*, and Muggle characters are welcome.  Now, on a darker note, our esteemed Minister of Magic, Cornelius Fudge, has been ruthlessly murdered by one of the Dark Lord's followers.  Tomorrow morning, Arthur Weasley will be inducted as the new Minister, and he and the remainder of his family will be joining us here at Hogwarts.  Let's eat!" Dumbledore announced at the start of supper.

            It was a morbid thought, but he couldn't help but think that due to Fudge's death, they might be able to get somewhere with this war.

            He was just about to indulge in a nice bit of chicken, when the doors of the Great Hall swung open.  Walking up the aisle was a young girl who looked to be around fourteen.  She had long light brown hair and large jade eyes.  She was clothed in a medieval-style Celtic dress, much like what the Snape women and Aeredhwyn (the elf representative in the Order of Phoenix) wore on a regular basis.

            Vicious Snape stood up and said, "Ebony my dear, so good to see you… in human form…"

            "Yeppy-doo.  I will be staying the rest of the year," Ebony replied with a smile.

            "Um… why?" Vicious inquired.

            Ebony looked at her and said, very matter-of-factly, "Because Professor Dumbledore asked me to."

            "Yes, it's so nice to see that you made it Ebony.  Now, we must sort you," the Professor said, pulling the tattered old Sorting Hat out of one his many pockets.

            He walked over to where Ebony was standing and placed the Hat on her head.  After about a minute the Hat proclaimed that she was a Gryffindor.

            "Ebony is a fifth year and will be joining the other Gryffindors for classes tomorrow," Professor Dumbledore announced as Ebony sat down next to Harry Potter at the Gryffindor table.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

            "Arthur Weasley, do you solemnly swear on the beard of Merlin that you will uphold the laws of the Wizarding world, do all you can to defend the magical community, and seek justice with all your strength?" Albus Dumbledore asked Arthur Weasley the next morning in Diagon Alley.

            "I do," Arthur replied.

            "As the Minister of Magic, what will your first order of business be?" Dumbledore asked.

            "I would like to exonerate an innocent man.  Sirius Black is hereby fully pardoned and the Ministry will immediately commence in striving to apprehend the *real* culprit:  Peter Pettigrew," Arthur announced.

            There were many gasps and faces full of shock, but Arthur continued.

            "As it should be obvious by now, He Who Must Not Be Named *has* risen again.  We *are* at war.  And we *are* fighting for our survival."

            This brought mixed responses.  Some wondered if Dumbledore had gone senile and were not entirely sure that Arthur Weasley was the right wizard for the position.  He had barely had the job for two minutes and he was already pardoning the most wanted criminal in all the magical community, save You-Know-Who, *and* he was declaring war.  Still, others thought it was about time that someone took some action.

            Later that evening, Sirius joined the Great Hall for dinner.  He would now be staying at Hogwarts to look after Harry.  Severus Snape saw this as the perfect opportunity for a good taunting.

            He strutted into the Great Hall, clad in a tight mesh fuchsia tank top, purple and pink striped crushed velvet tights, pink three-inch stiletto heels, and a bright pink weave in his hair.

            He stood by Sirius and said in an I'm-so-cute-but-completely-flaming voice, "You're not bad… for a POOP-EH!!!", then kissed him deeply and passionately and sat down beside his wife.

            Sirius didn't know whether to be flattered or disgusted… or both.

**A/N:**  "POOP-Eh" is an inside joke, and mine and Caytin's word for "puppy."  If you don't want to know, don't ask.  I have the next (*counts on fingers*) three chapters all planned out.  Chapter 14 is going to be *complete* insanity.  Oh and I realized that I never gave the proper pronunciation for Vicious… it's pronounced VIH-see-us.  ^_^  


	13. Ch 12: Halloween Festivites

**A/N:**  Yay!  I finished it the night before last.  And last night I finished Chapter 13 and started Chapter 14.  Everything just has to be typed out…  I'm *finally* having knee surgery tomorrow!  *There was much rejoicing… YAY!*  Don't worry though… I won't be in the hospital for long.  I'm going in at 7 am, and as long as everything goes right, I'll be released by around noon, and I'll be on crutches for a little while.  And then when I'm recovered from this surgery I have to get the same thing done to the other knee.  *rolls eyes*  Me and Caytin made cupcakes with patriotic confetti.  Yay!  Oh and if you like this fic, you should read my others!  (Yes I'm desperate.)  Also, you should check out Caytin Lowe's stuff.  We're going to be circus writing a fic soon under the name, The Nightingales.  The theme song is "I Want You", by Savage Garden.  Oh and I drew a couple of pics for this fic.  One is of Rory, Lilith, Charlie, and George, and the other is of Rory and Lilith.  And Caytin drew one of Rory and Lilith.  If only I had a scanner… And now for my rant:

I AM SO TIRED OF EVERYONE GRIPING ABOUT THE WAR IN IRAQ!  Do people not realize that Sadaam poses a *major* threat to our country, especially if he teams up with North Korea?  Disarming Iraq, by whatever means necessary, is crucial.  President Bush has been handling his position very well.  Did anyone *notice* at all how efficiently he handled the WTC tragedy?  And he has *tried* to be diplomatic with Iraq, but Sadaam has not cooperated.  So we must use force.  And our troops are out there fighting for country… let's support them!  And this whole thing about boycotting the French… sure, they don't agree with us.  But that does not mean we have to be all immature about it!  I'm going to shut up now.  I just had to get that out of my system… I'm tired of seeing all these peace rallies in *America*, where we should support this war.  Which reminds me… I've started writing a WWIII  fic…

**Disclaimer:  **I have Weasley-red hair, so does that mean I can claim them?

_I Want You, by __Savage__Garden___
    
    _Ooh, I want you  
    
    I don't know if I need you  
    
    But, ooh, I'd die to find out_
    
    _Ooh, I want you  
    
    I don't know if I need you  
    
    But, ooh I'd die to find out_

**Chapter 12:  Halloween Festivities**

"Charlie!  You *have* to go to the Halloween Masquerade with me!" Rory said, pouting.

            Rory was outside with Charlie, helping him train the dragons, as they had been asked to do by Professor Dumbledore.

            "Rory, I can't.  You know that.  I was reluctant to begin this relationship in the first place.  I'm your *professor*.  I could lose my job, my professional status," Charlie replied.

            "I DON'T CARE!" Rory yelled and ran into the castle screaming, "DADDY!"

            "Well, hell," Charlie grumbled.

            Roughly five minutes later, Severus Snape was stalking towards him with a look of murder on his face.  Charlie paled.

            "I hear you refused to go to the Halloween Masquerade with my daughter," he growled.

            "Well, sir… you know I can't do that.  I'm a professor and she is my student," Charlie replied.

            "Yes, but that didn't stop you from sleeping with her, now did it?" Severus yelled.

            "Um, that was during the whole Gender-Switch thing.  She seduced me and then stole my virginity," Charlie cried.

            "There, there Charlie, don't cry.  You're twenty-two.  You couldn't stay a virgin forever," Severus said and pulled him into a hug,

            "I suppose not… I was just waiting for the right guy… I mean girl…" Charlie replied, blowing his nose on Severus' sleeve.

            "Was she the right guy?" Severus asked.

            "Yes," Charlie said, looking up.  "She was a very gentle and passionate lover.  But I feel like now that we're back to normal, she wants nothing to do with me.  She doesn't call me anymore."

            "Um… Charlie, she wants to go to the Masquerade with you.  And we're wizards.  We don't *have* telephones," Severus said.

            "Awww yeah!" Charlie replied, perking up.

            "Albus is a randy old goat.  He would probably encourage it if you went to the Masquerade with Rory," Severus said, giving Charlie another hug.

            "Okay Daddy," Charlie said with a smile.  "…Can I call you Daddy?"

            "Um, no," Severus replied and very quickly backed away.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

            Rory stormed into the Great Hall at breakfast the next morning.

            She then stood up on the Gryffindor table and yelled, in a tone bordering on insanity, "GEORGE WEASLEY, you like Lilith Snape!  LILITH SNAPE, you like George Weasley!  You're going to the Masquerade together, GOT IT?!?" 

            "Yes ma'am," George and Lilith squeaked meekly.

            Rory sat down, satisfied.

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            The days passed quickly, until the Masquerade was finally upon them.  Most people were going as Muggle characters, having learned al about them from Rory and Lilith, who loved Muggle concepts, such as anime and movies.

            Blaise Zabini was going as Kaworu, the gay Angel from the anime series, Evangelion.  Harry was going as Boy Type Ranma, was Ginny was Girl Type Ranma from Ranma ½.  Also from Ranma ½, were Charlie as Moose, and Ebony as Ranma's *real* fiancée, Akane.  

            Even more interesting was Sirius, as Slim Jim.  He kept running around yelling, "EAT ME!" at random people.  And as long as we're on Muggle advertising campaigns, there was Lee Jordan as the 7up guy.  Of course, he was yelling, "Make 7 UP YOURS!" to everyone in sight.

            But the most interesting characters of the night were portrayed by Rory, Lilith, and Draco.

            The girls walked in on either side of Draco, arms linked through his.  Lilith, dressed as Velma Kelly from Chicago, had charmed her hair so that it was shortened considerably and was wearing an extremely short and stringy white 20's style flapper dress.  And three-inch heels…  Rory was dressed identically and had also charmed her hair so that it was much shorter.  It was obvious that she was portraying Roxie Hart.

            Draco, on the other hand, was wearing a gray suit with a green silk tie and a gray fedora.  He completed the trio as Billy Flynn.

            As they walked in, the walls started playing music, and Draco announced, "Ladies and Gentlemen, Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry is proud to announce a first.  The first time, anywhere there's been an act of this nature.  Not only one little lady, but two!  You've read about them in the papers and now here they are! Hogwart's own killer dillers, those scintillating sinners, Roxie Hart and Velma Kelly!"

            "Roxie" and "Velma" stepped up and began singing, with their heads down.

_You can like the life you're living  
You can live the life you like  
You can even marry Harry  
But mess around with Ike  
And that's  
Good, isn't it?  
Grand, isn't it?  
Great, isn't it?  
Swell, isn't it?  
Fun, isn't it?  
But nothing stays  
  
In fifty years or so  
It's gonna change, you know  
But, oh, it's heaven  
Nowadays  
  
_

            At this, Draco stepped to the middle of the two and said, "Okay, you babes of jazz.  Let's pick up the pace.  Let's make the parties longer. Let's make the skirts shorter.  Let's all go to hell on a fast broom and KEEP IT HOT!"

            The music got faster and the girls began swing dancing, Rory with Charlie, and Lilith with George.  When Charlie and George started to break a sweat, Lilith and Rory broke apart from them and sang the last line.

                        _And aaaaaaaaaall thaaaaaaaaat jaaaaaaaaaazz!!!!!!!!!!!!!!_

            Once done with the performance, the trio joined their dates.  Ron and Draco were now officially a couple, as were Rory and Charlie, as Dumbledore had insisted.

            George and Lilith were grooving out on the dance floor.

            George confused Lilith.  Sometimes he was all flirty and it seemed as if he might possibly harbor the same feelings for her that she had for him.  But at other times it was as if he were just another one of her guy friends.

            That's how it was Halloween night.  Sure, she was having a great time, but she felt like she was on a date with her best friend.  Plus, she wasn't even sure if he *wanted* to go to the Masquerade with her.  He knew that if he hadn't agreed to, he would have suffered the murderous wrath of Rory.

            She sighed as a slow song came on and George immediately volunteered to go get a Butterbeer for each of them.  It seemed like everyone else was on the floor with their dates… Rory and Charlie, Mum and Daddy, Mr. and Mrs. Weasley, Harry and Ebony…  

            George made sure that he stayed away until the song was over.

            By the end of the night, Lilith was extremely depressed… and pissed off.  

            _//At least he's walking me back to my room…// she thought as they got closer to her door._

            They stopped in front of her door and George said, "Okay, well, goodnight."

            "Ugh!  George no baka!!!!" Lilith yelled as he started to walk off.

            He spun around immediately and asked, "Huh?"

            Lilith was tired of stupid mind games, so she grabbed his head, pulled him down, and kissed him.

            She then ran into her room, leaving George staring at the door, clueless.

            "Huh?" he asked again, waiting for some brain activity.

**A/N:  **This chapter kind sucked… sorry.  I guess the Muses went to McDonald's.  Plus, I have a headache from eating *way* too much sugar and being extremely tired at the same time.  Plus I took three Vicodins, trying to get rid of the pain in my knee.  I saw Agent Cody Banks!  And Boat Trip!  They were good.  I never realized that Frankie Muniz had such a hot body… Now I feel like a pedophile… How old is he anyway?  Reviewer cookies!

_Elfmoon87:  Surprisingly, most of the scenarios actually come out from me and Caytin just sitting around saying "What if?", or from actual real-life experiences.  Yes, we lead a crazy life.  And thanks!  Unfortunately, starting with the next chapter, the humor is going bye bye for a little while.  I hadn't planned on it, but I when I wrote Chapter 13 and the first part of Chapter 14 last night, the Muses had completely different ideas than I did…_

_Dark Queen of Roses:  LOL Thanks.  ^_^_

_kippinator:  Appointing Arthur as Minister is a common thing with me when I'm writing Dream Team era war with Voldie fics.  Fudge is just an idiot, in my opinion, and for the war to progress at all, I needed someone with some kind of brain in that position.  Very important to the plot.  ^_^_

_To all of you:  Thank you so much for being such faithful readers and reviewers.  You don't know how much it means to me.  The other day I updated *three* different fics, with what I thought were some damn good chapters.  Out of it I got like one review and I was so upset.  But every time I post a chapter for this story, all of you are reviewing again, and that really means a lot to me.  *BIG HUG FOR EVERYONE!*_


	14. Ch 13: Crucio!

**WARNING:  LONG LAMENTATION OF MY PAIN, WHICH EVENTUALLY INCLUDES AN *IMPORTANT* AUTHOR'S NOTE!!!**

And here it is.  Ok, this past Monday I had knee surgery.  I had an allergic reaction during, but the doctors got it under control, and I was kept under heavy supervision for a couple of days.  Yesterday, it was time to take the bandages off.  I thought my knee looked all big and fat because of the dressing… but noooo… that's my knee!  It's the size of a grapefruit!  It's all purple and five times the size of my other knee!  And it had some heat in it and my entire leg was swollen, so my mom called the doctor and he said he wanted me to come in.  So I went in to the doctor's office and they decided they wanted to drain some fluid.  Now, I have a *major* phobia of needles, and this involves two needles, one of which Caytin said was four inches long.  The doc had to stick the long one all the way in and move it around, which was *incredibly* painful.  He finally had to give up because he wasn't getting much fluid.  All the fluid and stuff was all clotted.  So he ordered me to stay in bed for the next few days, which I *hate*.  I'm having to treat Caytin and my mom like my maid because I'm only allowed to get up to go to the bathroom, and though it's just the next room over, walking that far on the crutches saps my strength.  I'm barely getting any sleep because the doctor prescribed Vicodin as my painkiller, and I have a tolerance towards it.  It doesn't faze me a bit.  And on a scale of 1-10, 1 being no pain, and 10 being the worst I've ever felt, I'm pretty much at a constant 25.  I decided to go ahead and post this chapter because it's already written, *even though* I have only one review for Chapter 12 as of yet.  However, my Muses have gone on vacation until I'm better.  Therefore, I doubt that I will be writing for the next week or so.  So I apologize in advance for the lack of updates for awhile.  And ya know… flooding my mailbox with the address bot@fanfiction.net and the subject "Review Alert!" would just make my day.  ^_^   And the theme song for this chapter is "Down With the Sickness", by Disturbed.  I took the liberty to modify it a bit.  (In one part, I replaced "Mommy" with "Voldie.")  Be warned, this song is graphic, but it fits the chapter.

**Disclaimer:**  Not mine.  If they were, I swear I would jump in and kill Voldie with a shotgun…. Grrrr…

_Down With the Sickness, by Disturbed (Modified)_

_(Do you feel that?)  
(Oh shit)  
Ooh ah ah ah ah!  
Ooh ah ah ah ah!_

_  
Drowning deep in my sea of loathing  
Broken your servant I kneel  
(Will you give it to me?)  
It seems what's left of my human side  
Is slowly changing ... in me  
(Will you give it to me?)  
Looking at my own reflection  
When suddenly it changes  
Violently it changes  
Oh no, There is no turning back now  
You've woken up the demon ... in me  
  
Get up, come on get down with the sickness  
Get up, come on get down with the sickness  
Get up, come on get down with the sickness  
Open up your hate, and let it flow into me  
Get up, come on get down with the sickness  
You mother get up  
Come on get down with the sickness  
You fucker get up  
Come on get down with the sickness  
Madness is the gift, that has been given to me  
  
I can see inside you, the sickness is rising  
Don't try to deny what you feel  
(Will you give it to me?)  
It seems that all that was good has died  
And is decaying in me  
(Will you give it to me?)  
It seems you're having some trouble  
In dealing with these changes  
Living with these changes  
Oh no, the world is a scary place  
Now that you've woken up the demon ... in me  
  
Get up, come on get down with the sickness  
Get up, come on get down with the sickness  
Get up, come on get down with the sickness  
Open up your hate, and let it flow into me  
Get up, come on get down with the sickness  
You mother get up  
Come on get down with the sickness  
You fucker get up  
Come on get down with the sickness  
Madness is the gift, that has been given to me  
  
And when I dream  
And when I dream  
And when I dream  
And when I dream!!!!  
No Voldie, don't do it again  
Don't do it again  
I'll be a good boy  
I'll be a good boy, I promise  
No Voldie don't curse me Ow!  
Why did you have to curse me like that Voldie?  
Don't do it! You're hurting me Ow!  
Why did you have to be such a bitch?  
Why don't you,  
Why don't you fuck off and die?  
Why can't you just fuck off and die?  
Why can't you just leave here and die?  
Never stick your wand in my face again bitch  
FUCK YOU!!!  
I don't need this shit  
You stupid sadistic abusive fucking bastard  
Would you like to see how it feels Voldie?  
Here it comes, get ready to die!  
  
Ooh ah ah ah ah!  
Get up, come on get down with the sickness  
Get up, come on get down with the sickness  
Get up, come on get down with the sickness  
Open up your hate, and let it flow into me  
Get up, come on get down with the sickness  
You mother get up  
Come on get down with the sickness  
You fucker get up  
Come on get down with the sickness  
Madness has now come over me!_

**Chapter 13:  Crucio!**

            The Dark Lord stood up and looked at his minions, all clothed in dark cloaks with black hoods.

            "Malfoy!" he shouted, summoning one of his most loyal death eaters up to his "throne."

            "Have you gotten my Kitsune for me yet?" he asked.

            Lucius Malfoy was second in line to receive a beautiful and useful weapon… a Kitsune, better known as a Fox Demon.

            "No, Master, I haven't," Malfoy replied, shaking.

            "And why not?" Voldemort thundered.

            "Master, another family owns him!" Malfoy replied, bowing to appease his lord.

            "And that is a problem, *why*?" asked his Master.

            "Well, sir, I didn't think…" the tall blonde stammered.

            "CRUCIO!" shouted Voldemort.

            After a few minutes, the Dark Lord removed the curse and said, "Let that be a lesson to you.  *Never* question my authority.  I *want* that Kitsune."

            "Yes, Master," Lucius replied and walked back to his place among the rest of the Dark Lord's servants.

            "Death Eaters, what do you do when I give an order?" Voldemort asked his hooded followers.

            A resounding shout rose up from the ranks.

            "Follow them!"

            "And what if something stand in your way?" he continued.

            "Get rid of it!" came the faithful reply.

            "See that it stays that," the Dark Lord then said.  "Snape!"

            Voldemort's informant inside Hogwarts, the belly of the enemy, made his way up the aisle.

            "Severus Snape," said the sorcerer when his spy was standing in front of him.  "What news do you bring me of Dumbledore's plans?"

            "He has given me no information, Master," his servant replied.

            Voldemort yelled "Bullshit!" while slamming his fist down on the arm of his self-proclaimed throne.

            "You're in the old man's inner circle, his goddamn Order of Phoenix, and you're telling me that you know nothing of his plans?" boomed the enemy of the Light.

            "Order of Phoenix… What…?" Severus started to ask, shocked.

            "Do not doubt me," Voldemort yelled while rising from his seat, nearly exploding with rage.  "I *have* my ways of finding these things out!  You *will* tell me what you know, Snape, or suffer the consequences.  Now tell me the old man's plans."

            Severus looked up at Voldemort, struggling to contain his fear, and said "He plans to launch a surprise attack.  The date has not been decided yet."

            The Dark Lord stared at his servant, sensing the deceit in his eyes.

            "You lie!" he screamed, lifting his wand.  "Crucio!"

            After removing the curse, he had two of his Death Eaters raise the weakened man and force him to stand.

            "Are you ready to divulge the truth yet, Severus?"

            "Screw you," Severus replied, spitting in the lord's face.

            "*That* dear boy," Voldemort said, wiping his cheek, "is something you will regret until the end of your days.  Now, the question is, should I kill you know, or keep you around for a bit of fun?"

            "Doesn't really matter to me either way," Severus replied nonchalantly.

            "Like I care what you think," the Dark Lord spat out.  "I do believe I'll play with you for a little while.  Severus Snape… my new pet."

            "Take him to the Chamber!"

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

            It was 3:30 in the morning.  Severus had left for his Death Eater meeting at 8:00 that evening, in the middle of the Masquerade.  He had never stayed gone longer than four hours at a time when at a meeting…  Vicious slipped her long sapphire silk robe over her nightgown and ran all the way to Professor Dumbledore's chamber.

            "Albus," she cried when she got to his bedside, shaking him awake.  "Oh please wake up Albus!"

            The old man sat up and put on his half-moon spectacles.

            "Vicious, my dear, whatever is the matter?" he asked worriedly.  It wasn't like Vicious to rush to his room in her robe and nightgown in the middle of the night…

            "Severus still hasn't come back from his Death Eater meeting," Vicious replied, tears spilling down her cheeks.

            Dumbledore was interrupted in comforting her, however, as they heard the door slam and looked up to see a frightened and breathless Harry Potter.

**A/N:  **Yeah, I know… cliffie… sorry.  Sevvie… I am so sorry… come here and let Caytin comfort you!  I swear, this chapter was *so* unplanned.  I had planned on doing the first Quidditch game this chapter, but noooo…. The plot penguins attacked again!  If you would like to know more about Kitsunes, and why Voldie wants one, go read Caytin Lowe's fic, My Kitsune!  And there is one reviewer cookie…

_Mystic Dragonstar:  I know I've already replied to your review, and that it wasn't posted on ff.net, but I'd just like to thank you again.  I really do enjoy reviews, and they make me feel so much better!  Ok I'm gonna go take a nap now… I'm exhausted…_


	15. Ch 14: Nightmares

**A/N:**  Here it is kids, Chapter 15 of Shaded Illusions!  Yes, the cliffie is answered in this chapter!  And if I get enough reviews, I may even save our own dear Sevvie Snape in a future chapter!  I have created a humor/gore fic.  Oh the horrors!  Don't worry though, you slaves of comedy… I do plan on bringing the humor back… eventually…  ^_~  The theme song for this chapter is "Enter Sandman", by Metallica.  
**Disclaimer:**  Not miiine!

_Say your prayers little one  
Don't forget, my son  
To include everyone  
  
Tuck you in, warm within  
Keep you free from sin  
Till the sandman he comes  
  
Sleep with one eye open  
Gripping your pillow tight  
  
Exit light  
Enter night  
Take my hand  
Off to Never Never land  
  
Something's wrong, shut the light  
Heavy thoughts tonight  
And they aren't of snow white  
  
Dreams of war, dreams of liars  
Dreams of dragon's fire  
And of things that will bite  
  
Sleep with one eye open  
Gripping your pillow tight  
  
Exit light  
Enter night  
Take my hand  
Off to Never Never land  
  
Now I lay me down to sleep  
Pray the Lord my soul to keep  
If I die before I wake  
Pray the Lord my soul to take  
  
Hush little baby, don't say a word  
And never mind that noise you heard  
It's just the beast under your bed,  
In your closet, in your head  
  
Exit light  
Enter night  
Grain of sand  
  
Exit light  
Enter night  
Take my hand  
We're off to Never Never land_

Chapter 14:  Nightmares 

            "Harry, what is it?" Dumbledore asked in alarm.  This couldn't be good.

            "I had a nightmare.  Voldemort… he's imprisoned Professor Snape!  And then I woke up with my scar burning like crazy," Harry replied, shaking.

            Vicious screamed and fainted.

            Dumbledore buried his head in his hands and said, "Thank you for coming to me Harry.  Try and get some sleep.  If you must, go to Sirius' chambers."

            Harry left and Dumbledore conjured a stretcher for Vicious, in order to transport her to the hospital wing.

            "Madam Pomfrey!" shouted Professor Dumbledore once they had reached the infirmary, waking her up.

            "Severus' cover has been blown.  Obviously it was quite traumatic for Vicious, as she has fainted.  Please keep an eye on her while I gather Lilith and Rory.  I believe it would be best for the girls to hear the news from me, before their classmates get wind of it…"

            With that, the Headmaster rushed out of the room towards Gryffindor Tower, which was closest.

            _//To think that only hours ago, everyone had been enjoying themselves at the Masquerade… I didn't even think much of it when Severus received his summons halfway through the dance… How could I have not known that it was *the*_   _summons?//_ Dumbledore thought as he climbed the stairs to Lilith's room.

            He opened the door quietly and saw her sleeping peacefully there, wither her long raven hair spilled about her scarlet blanket, her am wrapped around a stuffed puppy he knew to be named Michaeizl, and a slight smile on her pale face.  He deeply regretted having to inform her that her father was in grave danger.

            "Lilith, Lilith dear, wake up.  I need you to come with me," Dumbledore said softly, shaking the girl awake.

            "Whewegon" Lilith, mumbled, still half asleep.

            Somehow, Dumbledore understood her and replied, "We're going to get your sister out of bed and bring you two to your mother."

            Lilith nodded meekly and followed the Headmaster out the door.

            Soon, they had woken Rory and were nearing the doors to the hospital wing.  Professor Dumbledore walked in first and found Vicious awake, struggling to be calm.  The girls rushed towards their mother.

            Dumbledore cleared his throat and said, "Vicious, I'll leave you three alone," and walked out the door.

            He had a feeling that he would be getting no more sleep that night.

            "Mum?  What's going on?  Where's Daddy?" Rory asked urgently.

            "Your father has been discovered as a spy by the Dark Lord.  As far as we know, he is alive, but is being held prisoner," Vicious replied, dotting her sapphire eyes with a tissue.

            "But how… do we know?" asked Lilith, not wanting to believe that what she had just heard was true.

            "Harry Potter saw it in a nightmare.  He has a connection to Voldemort through his scar.  Whenever the Dark Lord is feeling particularly evil or murderous, Harry can see what he is doing through his dreams," replied Vicious.

            Both girls fell quiet and stared into space.  They had all known that this day would come, but had refused to believe it.

            That morning at breakfast, Professor Dumbledore stood up and said gravely, "I have very bad news.  The Snape family has suffered great tragedy in the past few hours.  Voldemort has taken our resident Potions Master captive.  I do hope you will show the greatest sympathy to Professor Vicious Snape and the Snape daughters.  We are currently doing everything in our power to get Professor Snape back.  In the meantime, Sirius Black will be teaching the class and following Professor Snape's lesson plans."

            Mumblings were heard all over the Great Hall from students and teachers alike.  Most students did not particularly like the Potions Master, and before, they would have felt that he deserved his fate.  However, now that it had happened, they felt nothing of the sort.  No one, not even a greasy-haired git, deserved to be imprisoned by You-Know-Who.

            Many of the students were good friends with Lilith and Rory, and respected their Defense Against the Dark Arts professor a great deal.  They couldn't imagine what the Snape family must be going through.

            Dumbledore went on to say that classes for the day were canceled to show respect.

            "Harry, where are you going?" Ron asked as Harry got up and started to walk out of the Great Hall.

            "I'm going back to bed.  I didn't get much sleep last night.  Oh, and I'll be in Sirius' quarters, not the dorm room."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

            _"AAHHGGHH!!!" screamed Severus, in the greatest pain._

_            "Oh, my dear Sevvie… does that hurt?" asked Voldemort, as he had his servants hurt the professor yet again._

_            "It should teach you not to mess with the Dark Lord," he continued._

_            Voldemort's servants were using razor blades to make tiny incisions, like papercuts, all over the Potions Master's body._

_            "Stand aside," barked Voldemort to his cronies._

_            He then raised his wand, and yelled, "CRUCIO!"_

_            Severus twitched and writhed in pain, but couldn't do much, as he was chained to the wall._

_            The Dark Lord released the curse and said, "Talk."_

_            Severus glared stoically at his former Master and said nothing._

_            Voldemort cast the Cruciatus again._

_            "My Lord, he is beginning to go insane," commented Wormtail._

_            Voldemort removed the curse and said, "He is starting to bore me.  I fear I shall have to kill him soon.  You two, come with me."_

_            He then turned to Nagini and hissed, "Keep an eye on the traitor, my dear."_

            After Nagini had set her yellow, beady eyes on Severus, the Dark Lord turned on his heel and walked out, followed closely by his servants.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

            "Harry! Harry, wake up!" Sirius said, shaking his godson frantically.

            Harry woke up and removed his hands from his scar, which had a sangoire light emitting from it.

            "You were screaming Harry… and your scar… what's wrong?" Sirius asked, helping Harry sit up.

            "I had another vision."

**A/N:**  And it gets tenser (I would have said "more tense", but Spell Check said it's tenser… oh well.)!  To learn more about Michaeizl the Puppy, go to www.ttmirror.cjb.net, and read my first two fics ever, Road Trip and Succession of the Dragon.  Both are insanely funny, and make no sense whatsoever!  By the way… sangoire is the color of blood.  Review please!  And now… pet the new kitty time! (Cuz if you review, that's what you get this time!)

_Dark Queen of Roses:  No problem.  I understand.  Thank you for being such a faithful reviewer._


	16. Ch 15: An Emergency Meeting

**A/N:  **7 (or so) more chapters to go!  Yay!  However, it is going to be a while before the humor can return.  (3 or so more chapters.)  Sorry, but I can't exactly have everyone all happy while poor ickle Sevvie is being held captive by Moldy Voldie!  The theme song is "Missing," by Everything But the Girl.

**Disclaimer:**  The Snape women and plotline and various other things are mine.  If you wish to use these, or archive this story, please ask!  Everything you recognize is JKR's.

_Missing, Everything But the Girl_
    
    _I step off the train  
    
    I'm walking down your street again  
    
    And past your door  
    
    But you don't live there anymore  
    
    It's years since you've been there  
    
    Now you've disappeared somewhere  
    
    Like outer space  
    
    You've found some better place_
    
    _And I miss you-  
    
    Like the deserts miss the rain_
    
    _Could you be dead?  
    
    You always were  
    
    Two steps ahead of everyone  
    
    We'd walk behind  
    
    While you would run  
    
    I look up at your house  
    
    And I can almost hear you  
    
    Shout down to me  
    
    Where I always used to be_
    
    _And I miss you-  
    
    Like the deserts miss the rain_
    
    _Back on the train  
    
    I ask  
    
    Why did I come again?  
    
    Can I confess?  
    
    I've been hanging 'round  
    
    Your old address  
    
    And the years have proved  
    
    To offer nothing  
    
    Since you moved  
    
    You're long gone  
    
    But I can't move on_
    
    _And I miss you-  
    
    Like the deserts miss the rain_

Chapter 15:  An Emergency Meeting 

               "I am sorry to have to call you all here on such short notice," announced Albus Dumbledore, calling an emergency meeting of the Order of Phoenix to order.  "However, I fear that it could not be avoided.  As you all know by now, our spy in Voldemort's ranks has been discovered.  Professor Severus Snape was imprisoned Halloween night, after the Masquerade.  Harry has been having more of his visions, and they are our only hope in rescuing Severus.  Harry, you may proceed."

               "He is chained to a stone wall in a dank, dark room with no windows and a dirt floor.  It may be dungeon of a really old castle.  Actually, I'm sure that it is.  In all the nightmares, he was um… um… naked," said Harry, making sure to emphasize that it was most definitely a nightmare to see Professor Snape naked.  After all, he was dating the lovely pixie in human form, Ebony.  "He is also covered in blood.  The air smells heavily of vomit.  It is freezing cold.  He looks… broken.  Whenever Voldemort asks him to reveal information of the Light's plans, he'll say 'Never,' with only a bit of his usual amount of venom.  But other than that, he doesn't even try to fight back. The Cruciatus has been used several times, and for long periods of time, at that.  I'll be surprised if he hasn't suffered brain damage yet."

               Harry then tried to seep into the shadows of the dark corners of the room, feeling guilty for harboring such hatred for the Potions Master, even though it was well known that the feeling was quite mutual.

               "Harry, have you seen any other parts of the castle?" asked Dumbledore.

               "In the vision where he was discovered, and the ones before that, I saw various other parts.  Most were in a large, circular hall.  The only decoration was a large mural over Voldemort's throne of some really ugly snakes.  That's the room where the Death Eaters meet.

               "A few other times I saw a room with a window… the castle is surrounded by large, gray mountains, and it's pretty much always snowing there.  The castle seems to be set at a pretty high altitude."

               "Okay, it looks like that's all we have to go on," Albus said with a sigh.  "Hopefully Harry will have more visions soon that will give us more of a clue as the location of this castle.  In the meantime, we need to plan the rescue mission."

               "Our only option is to breach the castle," said Mundungus Fletcher.

               "Any other ideas?" asked Dumbledore.

               Everyone hung his or her heads silently.

               "Okay then.  We wait and see if Harry has another nightmare that can give us more insight as to where Severus is.  Meanwhile, we plot out the details of the operation."

               "Wait a second!" cried Vicious suddenly.

               "Yes, Professor?"

               "I don't know why I didn't think of this before… but what about a homing or tracking spell?  I mean, I know it won't give us an exact location, but it will come within twenty-five miles…"

               "Yes, brilliant!" exclaimed the Headmaster.  "As the spell is particularly difficult and strenuous to perform, I volunteer to carry it out.  I will need a potion brewed.  Vicious, go to Severus' and get me dragon scales, Camilla petals, powdered horn of a bicorn, newt's eyes, a mermaid tongue… make sure it's mermaid, not merman… a drop of pixie blood, and something with your husband's DNA, preferably a strand of hair, or something with his blood on it.  The ingredients *must* be exact."

               Vicious shot off towards the dungeons.

               "Charlie, you will take one of the worms you haven training and search within a one-hundred mile radius of the location for this castle.  Use one of the nastier breeds in case you need it for battle, possible a Hungarian Horntail or Norwegian Ridgeback. When the castle is found, you, Bill, Sirius, Remus, and Mundy will enter the castle.  Try to avoid being caught… we want to avoid a fight at all costs… and get Severus out of there," continued the old wizard.

               "Professor Dumbledore, you forgot us."

               "Pardon, Lilith?" he asked.

               "Professor, this is an operation to save our father.  There is no way in hell that we're going to be left behind," Rory replied, in her fraternal twin's stead.

               "I'm sorry girls, but this is a dangerous mission, and you are but seventeen, and still training.  It would be best for you to stay at Hogwarts."

               "We're powerful enough.  We *are* going," Lilith said adamantly.

               Just then, Vicious burst into the office, robes bulging with ingredients.

               Albus turned to her and said, "Your daughters have insisted on being among the party that goes to rescue your husband, and I could not talk them out of it.  I suppose we will have the same problem from you?"

               Vicious looked up from unloading the ingredients onto the Headmaster's desk and replied, "Duh…"

               "Well then, the Snape women will replace Bill, Remus, and Sirius.  It is just as well… I hadn't realized that by the time this mission is underway, the full moon will be upon us.  Charlie, I suggest you take two worms; one for yourself and Rory, and one for Mundy, Vicious, and Lilith.  It will not be possible to apparate there.  Tom will most likely have wards within a fifty miles from all points of the castle," announced Albus, pulling a cauldron out of his desk.

               "This meeting is dismissed.  The potion will be ready in two days.  Arthur, if you would please stay behind to discuss plans for getting the community on our side…"

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

               The next two days went by much too slowly for the Snapes.  They could hardly eat, drink, or sleep, for grief.

               Finally, Dumbledore called the Order of Phoenix to his office, to announce that the potion was ready, and they could finally perform the spell.

               "Okay, when I say the incantation, a map will appear in the potion, pinpointing the general area where the castle lies," announced the Headmaster.

               He picked up his wand and held it above the cauldron, while chanting,

                               "_We have lost one of our own  
                               And now we feel so very alone,  
                               Show us what we want to see  
                               Point us to Severus Snape, that is our plea."_

               The potion swirled and finally revealed a map.

               The Headmaster looked to be completely drained of energy when he said, "The Carpathian Mountains, in Romania, near a small, poor Muggle village called Gewarthe.  Charlie, I need you to leave immediately to scout out the location.  When you find it, return here and rest up.  You will need it, no doubt, for the rescue.  We go into action in three days time.  Dismissed."

               "Wait… Albus… why must we wait a full three days?" asked Vicious.  "I want my husband back *now*."

               "I understand, Vicious.  However, we must prepare for battle.  It may be necessary to fight the Dark Lord and his followers in order to get Severus out.  Again, you may go."

               "Wait…"

               Albus sighed loudly as George Weasley spoke; he was quite ready to go to bed.

               "Sorry, Professor… But if Lilith goes, I go.  I know I should have spoken sooner, but I couldn't bring myself to.  But I have decided that Lilith will not go into danger without me."

               Dumbledore scoffed and muttered, "Love…"

               He then straightened up and said, "Fine.  The operation will now require three of the wyverns.  The pairs will be:  Charlie and Rory, Mundy and Vicious, and George and Lilith.  Now, does *anyone* else have anything to say?"

               The room was silent and the Headmaster looked rather relieved.

               "Good.  I bid you all *goodnight*."

**A/N:  **Awwww… ain't that sweet?  Georgie wants to protect his girlfriend!  Ok… coming up: 

Chapter 16- More of Harry's visions of Sev's torture!

Chapter 17- Operation Rescue Sevvie is underway!

If you would like to be added to the updates mailing list, please let me know by either leaving your email address in your review, or sending it to me through email.  ^_^  And now cookies!

Angeldx14:  Princess Anna, YOU ARE THE BEST, girl!  Have a lollipop!  O---  No one can compliment me like you can.  (Seriously y'all she called me a sick fuck!  It was awesome!  She has reviewed all my stories, and she reviewed several times for this one!  She even gained the highly honored and coveted spot of Princess, and Honorary Pixie, in Queen Alexa's Universe.  ^_^  Everyone bow to Princess Anna!)  *huggles for the Princess*

Elfmoon87:  Thanks!  And no problem.  Don't worry though, I fully plan on a humorous ending!  ^_^  *huggles*

Hevensdevil:  But going insane is fun!  I'm insane.  ^_^  But you don't have to worry, because here is an update!  ^_^  ENJOY!  P.S.:  I'm glad you love it!  That's awesome!  *huggles*

HUGGLES FOR EVERYONE!  AND LOLLIPOPS!  (Right now I'm also typing up the next installment to Naked Man in a Trench Coat, which is quite insane, so don't mind me.  ^_^)


	17. Ch 16: The Five Points Requiem

**A/N:  ***sigh*  Yet another dark chapter, full of Sevvie torture…  Theme song is "Voices", by Disturbed.

**Disclaimer:  **I own the Snape women, the Five Points Requiem, and a few other things , here and there, including the plotline.  If you wish to use that which is mine, or archive this story, please ask first.

_Voices, by Disturbed_

So, are you breathing  
  
Wake up, are you alive  
Will you listen to me  
I'm gonna talk about some freaky shit now  
Someone is gonna die  
When you listen to me  
Let the living die, Let the living die  
(say)  
  
Are you breathing now  
Do the wicked see you  
You still breathing  
You're making me known  
  
What's up, I wonder why  
Do you listen to me  
I'm gonna make you do some freaky shit now  
Insane, you're gonna die  
When you listen to me  
Let the living die, Let the living die  
(say)  
  
I can hear the voice  
But I don't want to listen  
Strap me down and tell me  
I'll be alright  
  
I can feel the subliminal need  
To be one with the voice  
And make everything alright  
  
So, are you breathing?  
  
Can't you imagine how good going through this will make you feel  
I promise, no one will ever know  
There will be no chance of you getting caught  
They never loved you anyway  
So come on, be a man  
And do what you are compelled to do

Chapter 16:  The Five Points Requiem 

            _Severus spat a dark red substance onto the ground._

_            "So you taste the blood?  You deserve to.  You are pathetic excuse for a Slytherin… siding with Dumbledore… a Gryffindor…  You know, I told Harry Potter once that there is no such thing as good and evil.  There is only power, and those too weak to seek it.  So what benefits are gained from you turning your back on me, Severus?  Do you really believe that light can exist without darkness?"_

_            Severus stared at his former Master with cold, unfeeling black eyes, as the snake-like man moved closer to him._

_            "I see that pain bothers you no longer.  Perhaps I should provide you with a little company.  Maybe… your wife and daughters?  They would make a lovely addition to this room."_

_            Horror crossed Severus' face as he threatened, "If you so much as lay a finger on them…"_

_            "You will do what?  Come now, Severus, you cannot do much while chained that wall."_

_            Voldemort twirled his wand as he advanced.  When he reached his one-time servant,  on his chest in the shape of a pentagram.  The line then burned with a bright crimson glow._

_            "The Five Points Requiem.  The Curse will slowly spread out from the five points of the pentagram, consuming you from the inside out.  It can only be removed in the event of my death, and we all know that I am not going anywhere.  Enjoy these twenty-four hours… they will be your last."_

_            The Dark Lord then left the room flanked by Death Eaters, his obsidian robes swishing behind him._

_            Severus let loose a bloodcurdling scream and tried to thrash about on the wall as the Curse began eating through him like an acid._

_            He looked up and saw an hourglass filled with onyxes draining much too quickly, and opened his mouth with another agonized scream._

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

            Harry shot out of bed.

            "Harry?  What's wrong?" asked Ron.

            "I… I need to see Professor Dumbledore immediately…" he replied, slipping on a housecoat and his slippers.

            "It was another nightmare, wasn't it?"

            Harry nodded meekly, and the duo rushed out of the dorm underneath the invisibility cloak.

            "Should we get Hermione?" asked Ron, when they reached the common room.

            "No time…"

            Ron nodded and they raced out of Gryffindor Tower.

            "Skittles," recited Harry, when they reached the entrance to the Headmaster's office.

            "Skittles?" asked Ron, as they ascended the stairs.

            "Yeah, it's a Muggle fruit-flavored candy.  They're really quite good," replied Harry, opening the door at the top of the stairs.

            "Another one, Harry?" asked the old wizard, wearily lifting his head.

            Harry nodded and proceeded to describe the vision.

            "The Five Points Requiem?" asked Dumbledore.  "We will have to speed things up then, and battle will most definitely be necessary…"

            Dumbledore then sent Fawkes out with a message to find Charlie and bring him back to the castle immediately.

            He then sent Ron to retrieve Lilith and George from Gryffindor Tower and Harry to get Vicious and Rory from the dungeons, while he himself Flooed to Mundungus Fletcher's house and brought him back.

            Once all going on the operation, save Charlie, were gathered, the Headmaster began speaking.

            "We have had a change of plans.  As soon as Charlie returns, you will be leaving on the rescue mission.  You must kill Voldemort… figure out some way to do this.  It is crucial to Severus' life.  He has sealed the Potions Master's fate with the Five Points Requiem."

            The occupants of the room gasped.

            "It is estimated that he has about twenty-one hours left.  Time is of the essence."

**A/N:  **Yes, I know, extremely short.  But I had to end there for it to flow correctly.  Chapter 17 will be out soon, and will be the first part of the rescue mission.  Let me know if you wish to be added to the updates mailing list.  COOKIES!  ^_^

Dark Queen of Roses:  Sorry, but Princess Anna would have my head if I granted someone else that title.  But your character is a Pixie in the story, if that's any consolation.  ^_^  I'm glad you liked it.

Angelxd14:  I'm rescuing him soon in a very insane way!! * hands more sweets to the Princess*

_Daine of Queenscove:  LOL I'm glad you like it.  Insanity rocks!_

_Hevensdevil:  Don't worry, there's absolutely nothing wrong with being insane.  In fact, it is quite an honor.  LOL about your parents.  I'm glad you like the story!_


	18. Ch 17: Rescue Mission

**A/N:**  Yes, it's time to rescue our favorite Potions Master!  Everyone say, "YAY!"  Very good.  Humor is returning!  *does a little dance*  The theme song is "Change (In the House of Flies)", by Deftones.

**Disclaimer:**  If you recognize it, it's JKR's.  If you don't recognize it, it belongs to me and I would appreciate it if you asked me before using it or archiving this story.  =^_^=

Change (In the House of Flies), by Deftones 

I've watched you change  
Into a fly  
I looked away  
You were on fire  
I watched a change  
In you  
It's like you never  
Had wings  
Now you feel  
So Alive  
I've watched you change  
I took you home  
Set you on the glass  
I pulled off your wings  
Then I laughed  
I watched a change  
In you  
It's like you never  
Had wings  
Now you feel  
So alive  
I've watched you change  
It's like you never  
Had wings ahhh ahh ahhh  
I look at the cross  
Then I look away  
Give you the lungs to  
Blow me away  
I've watched a change  
In you  
It's like you never  
Had wings  
Now you feel  
So Alive  
I've watched you change.  
Now you feel Alive  
You Feel Alive  
I've watched you change  
It's like you never  
Had wings ahhh ahh ahhh

Chapter 17:  Rescue Mission 

            "Wait… is that it, Charlie?" asked Rory, spotting a large castle nestled in the Carpathian Mountains.

            "Yep that would be it…" replied Charlie, signaling to the others that they were landing.

            After landing, they each cast Notice-Me-Not charms on themselves and their worms.

            "Are all of you ready?" asked Mundy.

            "As ready as we'll ever be…"

            They crept up to the castle, wands out to fend off attacks.  The Notice-Me-Not charms should prevent any Death Eaters from noticing them, but they wanted to be prepared, just in case.

            They followed one of the cloaked figures inside the castle and started to make their way downward.

            "How far down do you think the dungeons will be?" George asked, of anyone who knew the answer.

            "Probably a few flights of stairs, considering how large this place is," answered Vicious.

            George groaned and Lilith said, "Think of it this way, at least we're going *down* instead of *up*…"

            "Um, guys… maybe we should try to be quiet.  The charms won't stop people from hearing us…"

            Everyone clamped his or her mouths shut and walked in silence.

            After thirty minutes Mundy whispered, "Shhhh… do you hear that?"

            "Yeah… it sounds like screaming…"

            The group all but ran in the direction that the screams were coming from.

            "In here!"

            They burst through a large, plain wooden door to find a naked Severus covered in dried blood chained to the wall.

            "Eeeeeeeuuuugggghhhh… Daddy's naked…"

            With a flick of her wand, Vicious had cleaned the blood off her husband, clothed him, and released him from his chains.

            Mundy cast a Silencing Charm on his and threw the emaciated man over his shoulder as they ran out the door.

            "Wait… we need to take of the Notice-Me-Nots, remember?  This time we *want* to be found…"

            As soon as the charms were removed, the group was finally on their way again.

            "Well, George, this time we're going up… Wanna carry me?"

            George snorted and put his arm around his girlfriend.

            "Not a chance, babe."

            When they were halfway back to ground level, Charlie stopped them and asked, "Ummm… why haven't we met any Death Eaters yet?"

            "Hmmm… maybe he knows we're here and wants to give us a false sense of security?"

            "Yeah… you're probably right Vicious…"

            The rest of them shrugged their shoulders and continued up the stairs.

            At ground level, they began looking around for Voldemort's throne room.

            "If I were an ugly old evil wizard… where would my throne room be?"

            "I suggest that you look through that door right there, Aurora," said a cold, high voice.

            Rory spun around to see the tall, pasty, snake-like figure, and spat, "Oh, Moldy wart… how nice to see you."

            "You will regret your words, you little brat.  Now, be so kind as to step into my throne room with me."

            The rescuers complied and walked inside a large, circular room filled with Death Eaters.

            "Yes, this would be where they were while you were, ah… 'rescuing' your Potions Master," said Voldemort, seating himself on his throne.

            "Now, I have cursed Severus here with the Five Points Requiem, and as you cannot kill me, I will enjoy watching him die," he continued as he removed the Silencing Charm from Severus.

            His screams echoed through the hall, and Mundy was forced to set him on the ground.

            "You know, Severus is a pathetic excuse for a man," said Voldemort, not seeing the change that was beginning to come over the Snape women.

            _//No Vicious… you cannot change!  Think of your subjects!//_ Vicious chided herself, struggling to control her fury.

            "He screamed with every crack of the whip and squealed like a pig when I, well you know what I did," Voldemort continued, laughing his high, cruel laugh.

            "He begged for death like a pitiful, weak little squib."

            "You lie!" screamed Vicious, her long golden hair gaining a red tinge.

            "Calm yourself Vicious, you are beginning to look like a Weasley…"

            All six rescuers glared at him.

            "Um… Rory?  Do we have a plan?" Charlie whispered.

            "Nope," she replied.

            "Shit…" said Charlie, with a grimace.

            "You got it, cowboy…"

            "You know, I would very much like to add three Snape women to my collection…"

            Lilith and Rory snorted as the Dark Lord continued, almost cheerily.

            "Of course, you do not have a choice.  Now, let us all sit back and enjoy Severus' death!"

            Lilith and Rory looked over at their father writhing and screaming in pain on the ground and were overcome with rage.

            The sisters advanced on Voldemort, speaking in perfect unison.

            "You bastard…"

            Everyone gasped as the girls' hair turned bright flame red and curled into large, loose ringlets.  Freckles suddenly appeared across their noses and cheeks and their eyes changed to the bright orbs of a cat.  Their ears grew long and pointed and their noses and eyes slanted.  Fangs crept out of their mouths and hung on their bottom lips, and large wings covered in dragon scales erupted from their backs.  Blue streaks matching Rory's wings and eyes appeared in her hair, while the green of Lilith's wings and eyes appeared in hers.  They continued advancing on the very frightened Dark Lord with evil grins on their faces.

            "Well hell…" breathed Vicious, as she watched her daughters' true forms emerge.  "I guess the secret is out."

**A/N:**  Short again, I know!  Sorry!  So what do you think they are?  Find out in the next chapter!  Hehehehe…  R&R please!  If you wish to be added to my updates mailing list, please let me know.  COOKIE TIME!

Hevensdevil:  You always seem to review right before I update, lol.  Isn't that lucky for you?  Would you like to be added to my mailing list?  If so, give me your email!  And thankies for your TWO reviews!  You're awesome babe!

_Daine of Queenscove:  Please don't cry!  *hands tissue to Daine*  Another chappy is here all ready for ya…_

_Congerking:  IL MIO CONIGLIETTO!!!!  *hugs Nick*  You reviewed, I'm so happy!!!!!  =^_^=  Now just keep reviewing and review the rest of my stories.  AND GET TO WRITING THE REST OF STAFF OF POWER!!!  As your beta, I am required to beat you with a wet noodle (no dirty thoughts!) if you don't!_

_Angeldx14:  Hey Princess Anna!  See, I'm rescuing him!  Oh and you are going to *love* what the Snapes actually are… =^_~=  Love ya babe!  ~Queen Alexa_


	19. Ch 18: Moldywart

**A/N:  **Yeah… Humor, big time.  I'm hungry!  The theme song is "The Wizard Song" by Linkin Park because I couldn't think of anything else.

**Disclaimer:  **Recognize it, it's JKR's.  Don't recognize it, it's mine.
    
    _The Wizard Song, by Linkin Park_
    
    _Down on the fairy tale path, there is a wizard awaiting you_
    
    _With aluminum fashion _
    
    _And with panthers to boot_
    
    _Send me your power through the lightning in your eyes_
    
    _Wearing the magic hat, yeah, yeah, yeah _

Chapter 18:  Moldywart 

            Mundungus turned to Vicious and asked, incredulously, "Dragon Pixies, Vicious?"

            Vicious hid her face and squeaked, "Yes…"

            Lilith and Rory bounded over to their mother and sang out, "Come on Mummy!  Change with us!"

            Vicious looked at her daughters as if they were crazy and spoke to the group.

            "Ever heard of Cornish Pixies?  Yeah, they're Pixies of every breed that were caught by humans and mutilated.  Sorry if I don't want that for my people or me.

            "But Professor Snape," said George, confused.  "All breeds of Pixies are now an endangered species.  You can't be touched."

            A light came on in Vicious' sapphire eyes as she exclaimed, (with glee, mind you) "Yippee!!!"

            Within seconds her blonde hair was replaced with flame-colored curls and silver streaks.  Her eyes turned silver, freckles appeared on her clear, pale skin, and a platinum circlet appeared about her head.  Fangs snaked out her mouth and down her lips, and silver dragon wings sprang forth from her back.  There was no doubt in anyone's mind that the Queen of the Dragon Pixies did, in fact, stand before them.

            "WHEEEEE DOOOO!!!  I'M NEKKID!" yelled Vicious in her high, sing-songy Pixie voice. 

            "Nuh uh!"

            "Mummy, you're not nakey!  Can we get nakey, Mummy?"

            Mundungus sighed, turned to the Snapes, and said, "Um, Pixies?  Can we get this show on the road?"

            "Aw yeeeaaah…  Oh, Moldywart…" said Vicious, stepping forward, with an evil grin plastered on her face, her daughters following suit.

            Voldemort curled up into a little ball on his throne, crying, "Don't hurt me!  Please don't hurt me… Please, I'll give you candy!"

            Vicious looked thoughtful, before shaking her head from side to side and saying, "Nah…  We're gonna poke you and then *take* your candy!"

            The Death Eaters ran screaming from the room, only to be followed closely by two fox demons (formerly known as George and Charlie Weasley)

            Mundungus looked around the room and asked, "Am I the *only* human in this little group?"

            Lilith nodded and said, "Yes, Mundy… in fact, you're the only human in the entire Order."

            "Right then," said Mundungus, before following after the Kitsunes, to fight Death Eaters.

            The three Dragon Pixies ran forward, their index fingers pointed outward, and began poking the Dark Lord while screeching, "Pokey, pokey!  Pokey, pokey!"

            "MERCY!  HAVE MERCY ON ME!"

            Vicious looked at the wizard and angrily sang, "You were a big meaniehead to my puppy!"

            Lilith and Rory added an extra "Yeah!" before launching into their own rendition of the _Hokey Pokey_.

            "_You put your finger in his ear; you put your finger in his nose… _

_            And do the Hokey Pooookey!  Do the Hokey Poooookey!_"

            "MERLIN!  MAKE IT STOP!"

            Rory sat on his knee and screamed, "Do the horsy!  I want the horsy!"

            Voldemort shakily nodded and tentatively sang, "Uh…  _Yankee Doodle went to town, riding on a pony… Stuck a feather in his hat and called it macaroni!_"

            "Move over!  It's my turn!"

            "No it's not!  It's my turn!"

            "MY TURN!"

"MY TURN!"

            "STOP!" screamed Voldemort.  "I can't take this anymore!"

            The Pixies turned to him, blew three loud, wet raspberries, and climbed into his lap, demanding the "Horsy".

            The Dark Lord sighed and bounced his knees, singing the song again.

            "_Yankee Doodle went to town, riding on a pony…_

_            Stuck a feather in his hat and called it macaroni!_"

            "AGAIN!"

            After the five hundred and sixty-third time of doing the "Horsy", Voldemort suddenly turned to dust.

            The Pixies fell on the throne on top of one another and said, "Oh… he dead…"

            "Let's get his candy!"

            "Yeah!"

            Vicious sniffled sadly and told her daughters, "He doesn't have any candy…"

            The Pixies burst into tears at this revelation.

            "What's all the commotion?"

            Lilith and Rory's heads shot up at the sound of the new voice.

            "DADDY!!!"

            "Do you have any candy?"

**A/N:**  Yeah, Pixies kind of have the mentality of three-year-olds.  (Which is why they're so AWESOME!)  Don't ask how Voldie knows an American Muggle song.  He just does.  I'm still hungry…  Oh well, I'll give all the cookies to my lovely reviewers anyway…

_hevensdevil:  Your wish is my command…_

_Angelxd14:  Hey Princess Anna!  My Updates mailing list won't send to you anymore… *sniffle*  It says you're an unknown user…  Anyway, I figured you'd like the whole Pixies thing.  That was like the purpose of the whole story… annoy Voldie to death… *hides head in shame*  Love ya!  ~Queen Alexa_

_Elfmoon87:  Hehe… thanks.  =^_^=  The humor is pretty much gonna be a constant fixture until the end…_

_Dark Queen of Roses:  Hehe yeah… what a way to die, eh?  Being annoyed to death… Thanks for adding me to your faves!_


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